I got a case of "Blog Guilt"....Ever have it?

Last week something amazing happened...Y'all know by now, I'm one who truly believes things happen in life for exact reasons & that timing is everything...


Take Happy Soul Project...


I honestly have poured my heart into this little thing...I've tried to capture exactly what I've felt so that you get a real & genuine look into my life...The good, bad, sad, frustrating & absolutely brilliant days, moments & pieces of what makes it mine...



And in doing so, in sharing it ALL, it comes at a price...Lately I've been feeling a lot of "Blog Guilt"- Not sure if this is even a real thing but here's what my twisted little mind has been thinking:


Not Good Enough- There is so much bloody talent out there...Sometimes I get right gutted that Happy Soul Project doesn't even come close to all the amazing blogs I find...Writers who already have books published, designers who create blog masterpieces....Business orientated folk who have sponsors, advertisers & such...Bloggers who HELP people by teaching them how to make something or give DIY advice...

Sometimes I get swept up in the beauty of all the other blogs that I feel Happy Soul Project doesn't measure up...I need to realize that it's okay...That it will never become that blog that post tutorials, does Oil of Olay giveaways or teaches y'all things like how to properly curl your hair or tint mason jars...



Not Doing Enough- I really don't know how some bloggers do it...They post all the time, enter contest, do giveaways, are part of networks, run online shops, etc....So the guilt comes when I feel like as a blogger I am not doing enough- I'm not getting Happy Soul Project out there like I should- It's not successful enough because of this or that...

Reality is I don't have the time right now to commit like others do...Period-I'm lucky if I can get 1-2 post out a week & I thank Sweet Jesus for my phone because that's the only possible way I am able to take & post pictures like I do...Maybe one day I will have the time it takes to make this thing what it can be but for now I need to realize I don't have the manpower- And that's okay..I need to let go of that & just let it be...




And lastly at times I get "blog guilt" about sharing too/so much...Obviously there is parts of our lives you don't, nor ever will see but those parts I do share, I share honestly...So regardless what I'm feeling whether that be frustrated, mad or jealous, I pour it all out there- And sometimes I feel it isn't really fair to my little family & how it effects them...



Not sure if other bloggers/writers have these feelings? Hoping they do, so it's not just me...But while I was in a bubble of "blog guilt" & pondering why I write & what Happy Soul Project really means to me, I got a message...A perfectly timed message that reminded me why I do this...



Someone {I would still like whomever it was to come forth so I can give ya a big smooch} nominated Happy Soul Project in Circle of Moms, Top 25 Canadian Blogs...



Just the nomination alone was humbling & I was honoured to be among such talented writers...But then the votes started pouring in & my wee little blog started to fly & then soar...



Within a day or two Happy Soul Project was in FIRST PLACE...The amazing support out there blew me away...Friends, strangers, even other writers all sent messages that made me realize why Happy Soul Project is indeed important & why I write...



I write because it's in me...Creatively it's something I feel I need to do...


I write because I want my children to know me...What I was thinking when they were little, who I was, what we did- This in essence is their "baby book" filled with letters, photos, memories & our lives together.




I write because although I'm not helping you or your home look better I may in some strange form or another be helping you to look at the world a wee bit differently...I realize both Pip & Noal make people smile & you don't know how happy it makes me to get a message that they helped someone who was having a bad day or hard time...But it's when I get messages from others that really needed some hope in their lives & found a wee bit of that in Happy Soul Project that really gives this thing purpose...



And If I'm being honest - I write because I'm selfish...I want to write a book, desperately...And blogging sometimes opens doors..And winning this contest will hopefully open more...


There is still a week left of the competition & I don't want to get my hopes up but regardless the outcome the support & love out there has been overwhelming...All that being said I am very thankful- Thankful the timing of this nomination...Thankful for all the love & support out there...And thankful for each & every message from someone giving Happy Soul Project purpose...


If anything getting nominated has taught me to stop beating myself up about what Happy Soul Project isn't & start celebrating what it is...

5 comments:

  1. Your blog really touches me. My family has been through the roughest year of our lives thus far, and it times it's hard to stay positive, my husband especially struggles with this. But we are together and that's what matters.

    We too have a young daughter, she's 14 months now, and I wanted to say you are such a strong woman.

    This is our first child, previously miscarried, and when we were expecting we wanted to do everything we could to protect our unborn baby. We were offered some screening tests, done through ultrasound and blood work, and we were assured it was routine, and nothing to worry about.

    So we do the test,IPS screening done in two separate parts which test for all of the trisomies and Open Neural Tube defects.

    Once the results were in, we were told by phone, which was scary, that we tested positive for Down Syndrome. At 27 my odds should have been 1 in 1,111 but after screening our baby had a 1 in 40 chance of having Down Syndrome.

    We were then told we had the option to have amniocentesis done. Of course at first I said no. I would love my baby no matter what! Why put my baby in any harm when I will love them no matter how special he or she is.

    But then I find out, because we are not in a major city, if I don't have amniocentesis done, I would have to go to a city an hour away for the rest of my appointments. Just in case my baby had down syndrome. And we don't drive!

    I was shocked no one locally would help us!

    So we had the amniocentesis done, and found out our daughter did not have Down Syndrome. She was born healthy, other than some minor breathing problems, at the hospital we wanted.

    So I just wanted to say I can't imagine the trials and tribulations you have been through, after all we went through 'just in case'.

    Your children must be truly blessed to have such wonderful parents.

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    1. Wow Jackie...I can't imagine going through that without any local help...What a tough time...So happy you made it through & glad you find a wee bit of inspiration here:)

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  2. I saw your blog being in the first place currently for Circle of Moms competition and decided to take a peek. And then, happen to read this post.. So here are my two cents, you do not have to constantly compare yourself with other bloggers.. for, that makes your blogging career miserable and you won't be able to enjoy it. The key is to enjoy what you do.. As the name of your blog itself signifies, being happy is very important. And it takes an awfully long time to get your footing and accomplish all things that you heart as a writer and a blogger. I have been miserable once, when I started blogging initially-which was like close to a year now.. I used to constantly compare my blog with other blogs and found that my blog is just too incompetent. But things changed, you know. Now, I am doing everything I dreamed of doing as a blogger. It is rewarding. You will get there one day. Until then, you just have to plough through.. and stay happy! Good Luck!- Vinma J

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    1. Amazing- thank you so much for the feedback...Love hearing from other bloggers/writers who have been there & walked the walk....Thanks for sharing:)

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  3. Toni Marie24.9.13

    I work with adults with Developmental Disabilities every day. It is my job as a "Support Broker" to help negotiate the supports and services my clients receive from our county and to help make sure that they receive their benefits (SSDI, MA, etc.). There's a lot more to it than that but you get the idea. I've been doing this since 2002 when I graduated from college with a BA in Social Work. I never aspired to work with this population. I wanted to do something with battered women or teens. After several interviews and no job, I began broadening my horizons. I interviewed at a sheltered workshop in the area that supports folks with a broad range of disabilities and traumatic brain injuries. There was one man who engaged me in conversation and I went home thinking, I can do that.

    Eleven years later I'm still in the field though at a different job now, and still working with some of the same folks who grabbed my heart at that interview. One of the things we aren't supposed to admit is that we have favorites. We all do. I have a particular fondness for individuals with Down Syndrome. Two people in particular that I've worked with for my entire career--they're family to me. I love them, I can't help it. I think they're beautiful and inspiring and so full of enthusiasm.

    I wrote on the wall the other day that Pip makes my every day better. I truly mean that. I don't remember how I found your page but I'm so grateful. Her smile melts me. I have talked to many parents since I started working in this field and I only know a fraction of what they've been through. I can't pretend to know what your experience has been but I want to thank you, from the depths of my soul, for sharing it with the world. Moms like you, that help celebrate and share the beauty and joy of raising children with special needs, are too few and far between. We could all use more Pip in our world and in our days. That said, Noal has my heart too. Partly because he asked that girl if she wanted to snug, a term I've been using for years. Partly because of the way he loves on Pip. Mostly because he's just adorable.

    I've been voting for you every day. You deserve to win.

    On those tough days when you're pulling your hair out, remember, you are amazing and the gift you're sharing with the world is immeasurable. Cheers to you and your family and thank you, Tara.

    Toni

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