I'm jealous...Very, very bloody jealous...There I said it...I've been feeling it for a long time but today was the tipping point & it's all coming out..This is a major "woe is me" {never knew before now how that was spelled out- interesting little fact!} post...So, if you want to stay happy & such I wouldn't recommend reading on...But for those on this journey with me...Here we go...

Reid had 3 appointments today- 3!!! Think of how annoying one appointment is & then picture yourself there ALL day with a baby, ninging {breastfeeding for all you new friends} in dingy waiting rooms & then finding out just brutal news...

Reid once again has pneumonia & as a bonus to end her 2 hour long eye appointment where they dilated her eyes, took the contact in & out numerous times to which I had to hold her screaming little body down, to be told that her "good" eye now has a small cataract as well...The surgeons will "monitor" it for now but end result will be surgery again...


So, I'm jealous...I'm jealous of all you mums that only have to deal with diaper rashes & coughs/colds...I'm jealous of you mums that get to sleep soundly because you aren't afraid your baby will be in heart failure or coughing with pneumonia...I'm jealous of you mums that get to plan your day around parks & get-to-gethers & not appointments or therapies...I'm jealous of you mums that don't have to worry about yet another surgery , the recovery & all that follows...I'm jealous of the "normalcy" you all have & the maternity leave you get to enjoy...



In reality when I stop crying, take a step back & take myself out of this pity party- I know that it's okay to be jealous of all that- Heck, I got to have all that with Noal...I know that every mum & every babe have a journey/challenge/story of their own- that everyone in their own sense deals with stuff...I also realize that anything big or small, whether it's heart surgery or your baby's first cold- Is a big deal to a mumma...I just so wish I was dealing with all that & not all this...


I feel so absolutely gutted again if I am being honest...Feels like Fate/God/Karma, whomever is playing this really twisted game- where He/She gives than takes over & over...Just when I thought all this was behind us, wham-slam-thank you Ma'am, it's all back again...The thought of another surgery & going through all that again is devastating...


But of course my Pip is utterly amazing...All smiles & giggles, happy as can be & teaching me yet again, another lesson in life...



Take each day as it comes & take it with a smile...Your such a Happy little Soul Pip...Sweet Jesus, I love you...


And you dear friends, enjoy your babies, hug them close, be thankful for whatever journey you are on with them...And if ya can send a little of that love our way...