Worth it...

Days like today make me re-hash everything she's been through medically, discover where she falls developmentally according to doctors and makes me want to punch the word "milestone" in the neck.

Days like today make me understand how her needs will likely be met & hope special equipment & accommodations will be provided. 

Days like today make me re-live what I don't often reflect on; surgeries, illnesses, hospital stays & medications. 

Days like today make me feel the heavy of heart defects, Congenital CataractsHypothyroidism, Celiac Disease & all Down syndrome carries along for the ride.

Days like today I feel myself on the verge of slipping into a rut. 

But then I think of her. I think of what she brings to the table. I think of her how she's changed my world. I think of what she does for our family, our hometeam. I think of all the walls she's broken, milestone development charts she's proved wrong & the fact that she connects with me, with us, so deeply simply by being herself. I think of all the joy she brings, the contagious smile that no one can refuse & her need to get down to a beat, as much as humanly possibly.

 I think of her this morning, as she patiently waited for me to "find her." How she'll never really know, how nice it is to start my day with her face just beaming of love. 

I think of her this morning, as she tried so very hard to communicate. Her "toooo-ast" that she demanded for breakfast, followed by her ferociously signing "music" & then yelling out "Ma, Momma, Mom" cause I took too long for her liking. 

I think of her this morning, as she proudly picked out her own sandals, took her dad by the hand & led him to the front door to take her to "school-aka-daycare."

I think of all the way-too-many-to-count beautiful moments that she brings into our lives every day. And all I know, despite days like today, is aren't we ever lucky...

It's not just a sign...

In our home, there is this one wall, that for over a year now, I've imagined the perfect piece of art to represent my little family. And for some reason, I kept coming back to the idea of a Subway sign. 

I wanted a symbol to look at daily, of how this all started, the journey we've traveled on thus far & the love it's brought into our lives. 

When I met my husband in Windsor, I was a cocktail waitress & he was a poor University student. We had barely any money, a whole lotta love & some big, adventurous dreams. 

With a suitcase each, we kissed our family & friends goodbye & moved abroad to Dublin, Ireland. We lived in literally a one room apartment, I used the 4 kitchen cupboards to store clothes, we drank way too much Guinness, met amazing people & made memories, I'm sure we'll talk about till the end. 

Since then, we've had three kids, moved a bunch of times, lived in numerous cities and discovered a love so beautifully chaotic it makes me believe in fate. My husband often tells me that he knew after our first date that he loved me & I often question if maybe deep down I knew too. 

Maybe that boy who tried to give me a high-five after the "best first date he's had" was always the boy for me. Maybe fate knew this was the boy I needed. This was the partner who balanced me out. This was the man who makes our Hometeam work. 

And this was the sign that reminds me of it all. Can't thank Art By Kelly for getting it so perfect.