Hug Harder Today...

Today I'm thankful when he is scared in the middle of the night he still calls out momma, that he uses cuddles to delay going to sleep for hours, that he plays with his food & frustrates the heck outta me, that he doesn't want to share his toys, pushes his sister & gets annoyingly silly. Because, today I'm thankful he is here.

Today I'm thankful when her eye tears up, I know she has lost her itty-bitty contact that is beyond a pain-in-the-arse to put back in, that she has hours upon hours of appointments, therapies & specialists to see, that she can't eat gluten, takes medication for her thyroid, still wears diapers & absolutely refuses to wear her glasses. Because, today I'm thankful she is here.

Today I'm thankful that he wakes up every 2 hours seeking out his momma, that he pukes directly in my freshly washed hair that now seems like a luxury to clean, that he snorts & makes weird little noises in the middle of the night & that he cries unless I'm holding or wearing him. Because, today I'm thankful he is here.

Seeing my best friend deal with losing her sweet boy to cancer has been heartbreaking - And now another close friend, lost her little boy suddenly & I still can't even begin to wrap my head around how excruciating the pain would be.

So, I'll wake up any hour despite being exhausted to comfort mine. I'll take in each & every cuddle even through I have things to do & Netflix shows to watch. I'll argue the benefits of veggies & negotiate "one-more-bite" deals and I'll give timeouts & encourage silliness.

So, I'll work on getting better every time I take care of her eyes & cherish the its-okay-hugs that make her feel better. I'll drive across the country to see whomever can help her thrive. I'll learn to bloody cook even though I can barely make scrambled eggs, continue holding her hand, change diapers till she's 13 & wear fake glasses myself to encourage her to wear hers.

So, I'll wake up any hour despite being exhausted to comfort, nurse & sooth him. I'll use baby wipes, wear my hair in a bun & pretend I'm the only one who faintly smells baby-milk-puke. I'll sleep less but more peacefully hearing him breath, knowing he is okay and I'll let him cling to me & be the biggest momma's boy out there. 

Friends, you never really know how much time you get to be their mommas, so hug harder today.


  1. Anonymous30.12.15

    Loved every word of this!

  2. You are my savior Tara!! You keep me in check and make me realize how truly lucky most of us are. Erin has been extremely lucky that she does not have all the medical issues you speak of...she was born with an AV Canal defect (hole in her heart) but has never had surgery!! She also had scoliosis, which was rough going with a 65% curvature. Two back surgeries in her twenties corrected most of that, so not complaining; even though going through that and watching her be in pain was excruciating!!! I accept the little things for what they are and reading your posts keep me laughing most of the time, crying sometimes and truly grateful all the time!!! Much love & hugs your way--Love, Linda Lu

  3. Anonymous31.12.15

    I loved this as well. Definately puts things into perspective.There could be a mountain of clothes to fold, toys to pick up (again),etc ( the list goes on and on) but at the end of the day, the only truly important thing that matters, is our kids / family. I could not even fathom not having either of my kids in my life, your poor friends...My heart aches for them , a parents true nightmare. Please give them my condolescenes, and an extra hug or a billion for that matter....xx

  4. I have such great appreciation for your writing T. Thank you ❤

  5. Been following you for 3 years and love love love every single post..... Thank you for being you xoxoxo