Wear What Matters...$75 Giveaway!!!

Any day now, I'm going to become a momma of three...This blows my mind in a sense. At 22, when I met my husband, I was the girl that had big dreams, was set on travelling the world & really wasn't even sure if I wanted children

Now, my world, my purpose, my heart is in these two, soon to be three tiny little humans that I pour my life into. Now, I find nothing more important than raising my hooligans to become people with big, generous hearts, joyful spirits and happy souls. Now, I find that nothing means more to me than our little family. 

Change...It's all around us, it's bound to happen & it is those in it that actually help change who we are. 

"he’ll change your world in beautiful and amazing ways.
he’ll show you how to love more deeply than you can imagine.
his smile will light up a room.
he’ll wrap his arms around your neck and and work his way into your heart.
he will run and laugh and love life.
you will know his soul and he will know your soul."

Lisa Leonard wrote those words about her son David after hearing from a doctor about his disability - This is a momma who gets what is important, who inspires others to change themselves and who loves with her whole heart. This is a momma who designed & made me something I will cherish forever. 

Around my neck & close to my heart, is the most beautiful necklace that has all 3 of my babies names...{Besides my husband, she is the only person on the planet who knows #3's name}. Wearing it reminds me of what my purpose is, what inspires me & truly what matters.  

I honestly love Lisa's stuff so much & I'm uber excited that someone else is gonna fall in love with a personalized piece too. We are doing a $75 Gift-Card Giveaway to a lucky winner who gets to pick out anything in Lisa's amazing jewelry line... 

Here’s how you enter to WIN:

1. Visit Lisa Leonard Designs and fall in love with something... 
2. Then either visit & like Lisa Leonard on Facebook or Instagram...
3. Leave a comment below on Happy Soul Project's Blog or Facebook Page about what has changed you the most about become a momma...

A winner will be randomly selected & announced on October 4th, 2015.

Unless you've been there....

Unless you've sung your child to sleep in an operating room, kissed their sweet cheek and been led away by a nurse, you have no idea the depth of helplessness a momma can feel...

Unless you've lied awake all night begging God-Fate-Karma to let you keep your child, you don't know what wanting something more than anything feels like...

Unless you've experienced having your baby back in your arms in recovery, you don't know the sensation of feeling overwhelming gratefulness that lets your body breath once again...

Unless you've been there, you really don't know how hard it can be.

And today for some reason, it was one of the hardest. Pip had a "routine" eye & ear surgery which was obviously nowhere near as complicated as others, such as her heart surgery - But today those feelings of helplessness took over. 

Blame me being 34 weeks pregnant with #3, my first born starting Kindergarten a few days ago or just simply loving Pip longer, but this one was not good - Is it really ever though?

This time I laid awake thinking how complete Pip makes our little family. How we wouldn't be us without her.

This time holding her hand walking towards Day Surgery at 6 am, choked me up. She kept looking up at me so trusting & it almost felt, like I've never loved her more. 

This time Pip worked the waiting room, making people laugh, fall in love and be put under her spell before they themselves went under. 

This time Pip knew more than ever that something was going on and clung her little hands around my neck not letting me put her down for even a second. 

This time when my twonk-of-a-husband forgot to pick up my "lucky-surgery-charm-aka-snickers" and a kind, very thoughtful hospital receptionist delivered some to me, I started to cry. 

This time Pip forcefully & loudly made it clear she didn't want her oxygen levels checked or an iv in. Her "no, no, no" over & over made me want to stop the whole thing.

This time when the anesthesiologist went over the routine risks, I tuned her out and just took in the moment of having Pip's cheek against mind as I rocked her. 

This time I didn't care how loudly I sang "Row Row Row Your boat" in the operating room as Pip drifted off to sleep while holding my hand. 

This time I actually felt bad for the awkward male nurse who didn't know what to do with the over-emotional-bawling-pregnant momma as he lead me to the waiting room.

This time when 2 men that smelled of cigarettes and were talking cars in the waiting room bugged me, I simply got up and moved to the other room. 

This time I only ate 2 snickers, 1 Toblerone {another amazing surprise left for me at reception with a book for Pip - Thank you!} and 2 donuts...Dare ya to seriously try to judge.

This time I profusely thanked the two doctors who needed to share operating time in order to perform on both her eyes and ears so that Pip didn't need two separate surgeries.

This time I smiled as the recovery nurses joked about us being frequent flyers or something like that.

This time I didn't rush her but simply just held her and breathed with her as she woke up. 

This time I spent the rest of the day pretty much glued to her. 

This time I know won't be the last but she, we, survived together. 

How is it?

Today I unpacked Noal's baby clothes to try and get organized for his little brother coming...I tenderly lifted each sleeper & remembered rocking my first baby to sleep. I smelled certain blankets trying to get that new baby scent. I picked up useless newborn shoes & had a hard time believing his now big foot was ever that small. I thought of Noal's first laugh, what a hungry-chubby-little thing he was & how he in essence, made me the momma I am.  

I picked up the little hat that he wore right after he was born to hide the bruised-suctioned-cup mark on his forehead and briefly cringed at the 21 hours of labor he put me through. 

I picked up the sleeper he was in the first time I put him in a swing and remembered the sour little face he made, when I was highly anticipating smiles. 

I picked up the pj's he wore when he kept kissing his little sister, easing my broken heart a wee bit when grieving her Down syndrome diagnosis.

I picked up a shirt that he wore to his "first wedding" when he was 2 mths old and remembered slow dancing with him, being oh, so happy that I was finally a mom. 


As I pulled out every piece, my heart was happy yet crushed at the same time. How is it that we are here, when just yesterday we were there?

How is it that I'm tearing up at the thought of what to pack him for lunch when it feels like I just packed him up from the hospital? How is it we are working on how to print his name when it feels like I just proudly announced it to the world? How is it I'm about to put him on a bus and hope/pray/wish his day is perfect, when it feels like I just taught him the words to wheels on the bus? How is it that I want him to take on the world but at the same time I wish I could remain his entire one? 

Sweet Jesus on high, how in the bloody hell is a momma supposed to let go?