Coming to you Live from the 2014 Oscars
Robin Roberts:  Welcome thanks for joining the 84th Academy Awards Pre-Show. Hosting with me this year will be Tim Gunn, Louise Roe, Jess Cagle and the fabulous Nina Garcia

 Garcia: Excited to be here but even more excited to see Ellen host this year

 Gunn: I know I am

 Roe:  What a year, what talent and as always surprises everyone is talking about

 Cagle: That's it exactly, I mean everyone can not stop talking about the superstar that is absolutely lighting up the world - I mean Pippy Layne has taken the world by storm

Gunn: Well if her fashion sense shows us anything, it's she's one to look out for

 Roberts: Here she comes, I wonder who she picked?

Gunn:  Ahh beautiful

 Roe: Oooh stunning the way the dress drapes, who is that?

 Garcia:  I believe she went with The House Of Hand Me Downs

 Gunn: Of course, who doesn't love Hand Me Downs

 Cagle:  Amazing

Gunn: Now let's talk that hair, I mean only Pip could pull of such art in a style like that

 Roberts:  It's outta control yet perfectly in control - you know what I mean?

 Gunn:I do and I love

Roe: Now I know she struggled with shoes. Her publicist said it was one of the hardest decisions regarding tonight's outfit

 Cagle:  From the looks of it they seem way too big for her little, petite feet

 Garcia:  They are 2 sizes too big - But dammit she knew they were the ones when she saw that sparkle. She had to have them

 Gunn:  Well she's working them

Roe:  Do you think we could get her in the "mani-cam" because her manicure looks too good not to

 Garcia: I don't think we can but I know Momma Bites Them Off Salon did the work

Roberts: Well Pip really outdid herself- without a doubt she's making the Best Dressed list

 Gunn: Oh absolutely. I think she's really grown from last year. While I liked her look, this year she seems a bit more mature, even romantic

Roberts: Speaking of romantic - Did you notice her boyfriend Loch is no where to be seen?

 Garcia: Rumour has it, that Pip has been so busy she's neglecting him lately 

 Roe:  I wonder who will be presenting the Oscar for Spreading the Most Joy?

 Roberts: Me too, a few names come to mine

 Gunn: Well we're about to find out- Right now live

 Roberts: Ahhhh it's last years Oscar Winner for I am Two-Yet I am Dennis The Menace

Roe: He was aaaamazing in that

 Cagle: I cried - I laughed - I cringed - I felt him come alive

 Roberts: Oh me too. The way he nailed those temper tantrums and his sword fighting skills were outrageous - He was so good - real good

 Gunn: For me it was more his commitment to the role. I mean he went deep into the character - Eating the wood off an entire crib rail, flinging poo, not sleeping for days, peeing on a couch. I mean it's unheard of. He went there and went there well

 Garcia: Agreed. Well deserved

 Gunn: He's with the nominees about to announce the winner but lets quickly talk about his look tonight. It's quite different

Garcia: Well he has always been one to dance to the beat of his own drum so tonight is no different 

 Gunn: He went with new designer, I'll Stop at The Shirt

 Garcia: I get it - Kinda like I'll dress from the shirt up but everything else is left for interpretation

 Gunn: Exactly

 Garcia: Noal's publicist said that he worked with I'll Stop at The Shirt after having one hell of a time trying on clothes for tonight. The green sweatpants and slippers are his way of saying I'm cool, I'm independent, I can do it on my own, I'm me

 Gunn: Well it works

 Garcia: Does it ever

 Roberts: There about to announce Oscar for Spreading the Most Joy. Here we go - And the Oscar for Spreading the Most Joy goes to

 Roberts: PIP!!!

 Roe: Not surprising - We knew she had this - Yet she looks shocked
Roberts:  She sure does. She shouldn't be - I mean the amount of joy this girl has spread is unreal

 Roe: Really is. I mean it's worldwide

 Garcia: Yet can you believe Ellen hasn't heard or called her despite another Oscar worthy performance in #OperationEllenMeetPip

 Roberts: Now that amazes me, I mean how could she not? It's just a matter of time. I swear it, Pip will be on Ellen. I'm declaring it now

 Garcia: It's almost fitting that Noal was the one presenting this Oscar since they are working together in #OperationEllenMeetPip

Roberts: Agreed, I sense another Oscar next year to the two of them for their work in it. The commitment to their high-fiving alone is outstanding

Cagle:  Noal seems quite proud of her

 Roberts: Those on set with them said it almost felt like Noal was an older big brother looking out for her

 Garcia: Here comes the kiss - I love when the presenter kisses the winner

Roberts: We are live here with Oscar Winner Pip - Amazing, big congratulations on the win. We are all so proud of you

 Gunn: How are you going to celebrate?

 Pip: Ahhhhhhh can you believe it - Ahhhhhhh

First thing first these glasses are coming OFF - It's time to party!!

Actually wait if I'm being honest what I really feel like doing is dancing. And by dancing I mean busting it down with the Chicken dance

Roberts: The chicken dance wow - What a way to celebrate, this girl knows how to live

 Roberts:  There you have it folks. Thanks for joining us and we'll see you tomorrow when we talk about what happen after the Oscars. Including who Noal ended up parting with and how the night unfolded. Lets just say Mr. Potato Head is back in town. 

 As well as a behind the scenes look into why they changed the Oscar to a silver more tin-foil look and the meaning behind the shape of a baby instead of a man.

 You won't want to miss it.

All: Good Night and thanks for tuning in


Now friends if this doesn't bloody get Ellen's attention I'm at a loss...Come on #OperationEllenMeetPip just happen already.

Happy Oscar Weekend





Please note: Obviously this is totally made up - As much as I wish Roberts, Gunn, Garcia, Roe & Cagle really did have this dialogue about my darling Pip...It's all in my imagination.