"Don't give in to your fears...
If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart."
-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist



Well than, I've done a lot of "heart talking" this week...I've tried to push the fear away as I signed consent forms this week for Pip's surgery...I've tried to keep the worry afar with visits from friends, desserts & chilled white wine...I've tried to pretend I'm strong as I had to hold down, then hug a hysterical Pip as the nurses tried to draw blood...And I've even tried to stop the tears...


But Sweet Jesus, try as I might at 6:30 am tomorrow it will all come crashing down...At 6:30 am I will be a nervous wreak as I put Pip in a tiny hospital gown, try to distract her from the fact that she hasn't nursed since midnight, hold her desperately, kiss her continually & every once in a while let Craig do the same...


At 8 am when the surgeons come to finally take my little Pip, my heart will feel like it is the weight of my entire body- And I will crumble...I will give in to my fears as much as I wish I really wouldn't...


It's the feeling of no control & helplessness that really tugs at me...As a mumma, it's me who makes Pip feel better when the nurses can't find a vein, it's me who she snugs her little body into every night, it's me who she looks for when she hears my voice, it's me who gets the biggest smiles that light up her face & giggles that gurgle from deep in her belly...It's me who makes her feel safe...


And that is what hurts the most- Not being able to do anything...The only thing I can possibly do is get the world once again on her side, rally as many prayers to as many Gods, steal as many wishes as people will let go, & gather as many positive thoughts the universe can possibly hold for one person....


All I can do is call on Pip's People-Pip's Army...People who love her...



People who are inspired by her...



People who have smiled because of her...



People who have been touched by her courage & strength...



And people who have seen the world a wee bit differently because of her beautiful little soul...



Last eye surgery, when she was only 5 weeks old, it literally felt like the whole world was thinking of her & it brought such strength...

So, friends I need ya again...Please, I ask of you once more, Pip's People - Pip's Army, however, whoever, whenever you can please think of her tomorrow...









Also a reminder that Dear Sweet Pip is always open to anyone who has been inspired by Pip...To read about how she touched other's lives while her own was going though so very much, is something I think later in her life she will cherish so very much...