The past few days have been life changing...The fear I’ve felt chokes me now as I write this to you...But the strength & determination I’ve seen from my baby girl is inspiring & the hope she's brought in my life & what seems like so many others is overwhelming...

As mentioned in the post I did a few hours before Reid’s eye surgery- I was obviously nervous, worried & scared...I truly spent the night just looking at her & hoping all would be okay...In 5 weeks she has planted her little life so deep into our little family that the thought that she possibly wouldn’t be there killed me...So, a sleepless night for me begging God/Fate to keep her safe...

We had to be at the hospital at 6:30 am which was good in a way because she was the first surgery of the day & it meant no more waiting...Just getting on with it...Holding Reid while doctors & nurses got things ready for her surgery was so hard...I kept kissing her over & over & telling her I needed her & that she’s got this...She seemed so very small laying on the bed & when they froze her little hand to put the IV in, I couldn’t help it, the tears started falling hard...And they didn’t stop for awhile- thank Sweet Jesus, Craig was there to hold me...Seeing Reid in the little tiny hospital gown was too much for me- I literally wanted to scoop her up & run away...
The surgery itself was a few hours long & while Craig & I waited everything in the world seemed to annoy me...The other people in the room, just chatting away as if nothing was going on...In my head I was thinking, “shut it people, my baby girl is having a major surgery and you’re chatting about sales at Costco & your daughter’s bunions”...In reality they had every right to talk about whatever they pleased but at that moment it bothered me more than anything...Those few hours seemed to tick by & finally the surgeons came out to talk to us- I remember seeing them walk down the hall & when one of the doctor's eyes saw mine he had a slight smile & I felt my whole body almost give way in relief...The surgery was a huge success, “couldn’t have gone any better” according to them but she was having trouble coming out of the anesthetic...I didn’t really hear anything else about the surgery after that my mind was just wrapped around the word trouble...We painfully had to wait around another hour before the surgeons came back to take us to the recovery room to see her- As the surgeons were talking to us a nurse in the recovery room called out Reid & I just bolted- Leaving Craig with the surgeons, I followed the nurse in to see my precious baby girl...
At first I didn’t even see the huge patch covering her eye, the wires & all the machines she was all hooked up to- I just saw Reid & needed more than anything to hold her in my arms...That feeling when I first held her was such gratefulness...I just was so thankful she made it through the surgery & was there alive with me...I would have held her in my arms for hours & little did I know that I would be...For 26 hours to be exactly...The scariest 26 hours of my life...

Reid had a really hard time coming out of the anesthetic & in turn it caused breathing complications...Basically, she stopped breathing & nurses would rush in, oxygen was shoved in her little face & they had to stimulate her to start breathing again...At one point her entire body turned bright red & she couldn’t grasp a breath & then things, time & everything froze...

We were transferred by ambulance to another hospital to the Intensive Care Unit on a Pediatric floor- the very same floor I had wrote about the night before Reid’s surgery...

The ride itself only took minutes & as nice as the paramedic was riding in the back with me, chatting away- I couldn’t for the life of me, tell you one thing he said...All I remember is thinking how very tiny she looked & that's my little "Diva" getting us transferred in style in an ambulance...

 


We were in a glass room so that the docs/nurses could monitor her very carefully...Everytime her heart or oxygen dropped they'd come racing in...Unless she was getting examined she remained in my arms the entire time...One older nurse who referred to herself as a wise old owl- told me to just keep loving her- it’s amazing what she’s seen love do...So, that’s what I tried to do...I just held her & rocked & told her how strong she was & how much we all loved her...

It felt like the whole world was thinking of her & that love was somehow giving her strength.... Craig maybe has changed his Facebook status 3 times since his Facebook existence- He never thinks to share what I do & I’m sure my openness is almost annoying to him {and others}...But for me I seriously felt better in these moments the more I shared...It was like the more I knew people were thinking about her the stronger & braver I felt...Weird for some I am sure but for me it was what helped get me through a really dark night...

So, thank you world for thinking of my Reid....She finally stabilized early the next morning & it felt like I could breath again...




I tried to keep Craig updated as much as I could & as much as I went through a nightmare being there with Reid, he had a completely different experience...Once Reid was rushed to Intensive Care only one of us could go & one of us had to go home to Noal...So, my poor Craig had to be home worrying like I know he does & feeling totally helpless..I can’t imagine what he went through not seeing her or holding her like I got to...Craig, again your strength through this amazed me...
Holding Reid after she stabilized & knowing she’d be okay was life changing- Looking down at that little tiny baby & already learning so much from her about strength, determination & hope was humbling...She really is going to change the world & she’s starting with mine...And a few others...The inspiration & hope she has given seems overwhelming at times- Someone wrote the whole world has already fallen in love with her & it truly feels like that...In the hospital alone she charmed the nurses who bought her a rattle that said “sassy” because they believe with her strong spirit she will be...And the gift shop ladies at the hospital were so taken with her that they gave her a beautiful angel quilt...



I love seeing how in 5 short weeks she’s captured hearts, moved people’s lives & has found such a place in this world already...I’m so grateful, excited & blessed to get to be her mum & to see what else she does...




Note to Reid though- In case, baby girl you have more surgeries in life, let's get out of that anesthetic a bit better next time...K? I don't ever want to feel like I did, the thought of losing you isn't an option anymore...You've proven you're a strong, sassy, little fighter & I couldn't be more happy about that...Let's take on the world Reidster...






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