It’s funny what I use to think mattered in life...I guess with all things, you look back at what once was, with so much more wisdom, clarity & insight...I guess having a child brings such a perspective to one’s life...But, having a child with special needs brings almost an urgency or demand to have to live in the moment...To take each day one at a time & be grateful for the progress made that day & to look forward to the next & what it will bring...

The past few weeks with Reid have been eye opening to say the least...Learning about Down Syndrome, having to deal with doctors/specialist & what seems like appointment after appointment has been a lot to take in...However, seeing how very sick some of the children in the hospitals are has made me grateful for what we are dealing with however hard I find it...
Today was Reid’s pre-op appt for her upcoming eye surgery on Friday...{No miracle yet- but still hoping!!!} The doctors had to go over the risks involved & I won’t get into all that detail, but know that this mumma bear will be a bundle of nerves till I have her back safely in my arms...I had to hold her down this morning while a doctor did a test & I almost started bawling thinking about her getting wheeled away from me & getting put out...It’s hard to let go- I have absolutely no control over this...As much as I wish I could, this is not something I can fix with a mummy kiss or snuggle...When I pictured my life, I truly never thought I would have to be worried about my one month old daughter facing a major surgery, but this is my reality...And as much as I wish Reid was born as healthy as can be, I have to accept the fact that she wasn’t...That docs/specialist & therapist & tests & appointments will be a part of our lives, but that all those involved will do their very best to have her as healthy as she can be...

I really did take for granted how healthy my son was...As a new mum, a diaper rash was a big deal- I can remember calling my friends Jenn & Sarah all in a panic as if it were the end of the world because Noal had a rash or snotty nose...Oh how I wish that with Reid...that my only worries were a bum rash or a cold...I’m so utterly worried for her & for Craig having to put up with me in the waiting room during the surgery...Good luck love!!! He thinks I have ADD normally- just you wait till it comes out with worry, anxiety & fear on top...

 
So, as I learn to let go of what I can’t control- I realized that all that really matters is how I live my life & teach my babies to live theirs...I can’t control that Noal is a busy boy, has my short little legs & has my sassy personality...I can’t control that Reid was born with Down Syndrome, had a hole in her heart or needs eye surgery...I can only control how I handle what has been given to me- How I hope to raise Noal & Reid to be loving, kind, open minded, grateful & Happy Little Souls...At the end of the day this is what I truly believe to be important...For me to live my life with a Happy Soul & for others to see that & to pass it on to my heart ~ Noal & Reid...
 
That in turn has brought a change in me & a change in the blog...What once was “Pin Me” t...has now become Happy Soul Project- As much as I loved the other blog- the whole direction of my life has changed & I felt since the blog is a reflection of my life it should change as well...

So, dear friends I hope you continue to walk on this journey with me...Please continue to think of my sweet Reid- her surgery is 7:30 am on Friday- so again send all that you can out!!!

And thank you...You will never really know how much your messages & thoughts regarding the blog, my family & especially Reid mean to me...How much they have lifted me up, made me want to continue writing & sharing my story & helped provide a miracle...I’m so very lucky for all those in my life who love me...Thank you







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