Now, don't get me wrong I'm not jumping up in down thanking Sweet Jesus by any means. First, I cry, I swear, I get angry, I get jealous and I get mad, real freaking mad. But then I hold my little girl tight and I try to breath out gratitude.
9 times I've had to dress her in one of those awful hospital gowns. 9 times I've had to hold her begging God that it's not the last time. 9 times I've had to sing her to sleep in an operating room. 9 times I've nervously sat and shoved Snickers down my hatch in a waiting room. 9 times I've never been more grateful in my life when she's back in my arms in recovery.
I really let the whole "9-times-pity-party" have it's way with my emotions for awhile today, in between getting angry & swearing. Out loud, in my head, to God, to the minivan steering wheel as I punched it, to my husband, heck I think this time I even swore with the doctor. I just truly feel like me & my sweet girl can't ever catch a break. It's been one thing after the other with Pip medically and I can barely breath in between each new diagnosis.
Pip has already been & is still going through so much - And now Celiac Disease, I mean this is life changing. It's not like it's just a pill or medication to take every morning, this is a complete life change and means more appointments, another specialist to add to her already full rolodex, working with a dietitian, increase blood work and sooooo many dietary changes.
So, now 2 days before Christmas, Pip will rock yet another hospital gown, I'll eat 7pds of chocolate and we'll do this yet again.
I think you have to choose to be thankful in life and even though I feel like grabbing Fate or God by the neck and screaming, "Enough, seriously enough already." I also want to grab Fate or God in a big-huge-momma-bear-hug and say, "Thank you. Thank you that it's not cancer & it's Celiac Disease."
We will learn to deal and in the meantime, please send Snickers my way.