The Waiting Game....


I never felt this before...

- The daily anticipation that it could happen
- The not sure what to plan because it could be any day now
- The maybe it's go time cramps, back pain & exhaustion

I never felt this before because my first two babies were early...Noal was 3.5 weeks early, put me through 21 hours of labour, almost made me get a blood transfusion & I ended up passing out. Good bloody times!



And Pip was almost 3 weeks early; we had just moved across the province to a new city & had only been living there for 2 weeks when she rocked our world...Literally. I feel like in a way with her, I was "cheated" out of the newborn stage - We were slapped with her Down syndrome diagnosis, petrified of the holes in her heart & geared up for her first surgery at 5 weeks old



But with #3 well it's just different. With this one, well he isn't officially "over due yet", but I just thought he'd be here by now. I thought by early October I'd be getting baby snugs, breastfeeding like it was my job & running on even less sleep if that's even possible.


And while I'm physically way over being pregnant {this one has been my hardest yet} and I'm anxious as anything to get on with things & meet our little man, I'm kinda trying to take in these days with just my Noal & Pip...


See to the two of them, they have had each other their whole lives...Noal was only 7 mths old when I became pregnant with Pip - He even thinks him and Pip were in my belly together, he truly doesn't remember life without her. And while he's so excited to have a little "broder" & Pippy couldn't possibly be any cuter snugging my belly or "her baby", I know that this will bring with it big changes. Changes I don't know if I wanna make because there are some things I absolutely adore more than anything in our lives right now.
  • The way I still rock Pip to sleep and she falls asleep on my shoulder all nuzzled into my neck. 
  • The way I can still manage two kids out in public, at a grocery stop or at the bus stop. Add another one, with a car seat & diaper bag and I'm tired just thinking about venturing out let alone doing it.
  • The way Noal still crawls into our bed at some point through the night and wants to sleep cheek to cheek & in his sleep says "love you momma".
  • The way I still have to hold Pip half the time because she's tired of walking or lazy or just wants to be close.
  • The way the car seats were behind me in my van so I could pass them stuff, tickle their toes or wipe their nose at a light. Now I'm literally throwing arrowroot cookies back at them like a MLB player hoping for a catch.
  • The way we have family time every night - Dinner with the 4 of us, baths & books and chats.
  • The way Pip still feels like my baby & Noal is my "favourite boy".

And while I love all that we are & wish change didn't have to happen, I know #3 will complete us even more. I know that soon it will feel like he's been here the whole time.

And I guess if he's making me play the waiting game, I should relish in the way we are now.





5 comments:

  1. 3 is daunting at first, but you can do it! I got #'s 2 and 3 15 minutes apart. But i can't imagine not having every single one of them in my life. It's amazing how you'll find just the perfect spot in your heart for #3 that you didnt even know was there!

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  2. Congrats- you're in the home stretch! I'd like to tell you that if you can do 2 then 3 is a breeze but I won't because 3 is crazy! And amazing. And exhausting. And just wonderful to watch. Oliver is 7, Rowan is 4 and Phoebe (who rocks that little extra something like Pip :)) is 2. Phoebe made our family complete. Oliver and Ro had a great relationship and I wasn't sure if this little peanut would rock the boat but they swoon over here, can't remember life without her (even the 7 year old!) and I'm pretty sure she's each of their favorite. So now I have my favorite big girl and my favorite little girl (and my best boy of course!). And although most days I'm done by 3 when I see the 3 of them walking hand in hand or snuggling on the couch I honestly can't remember how life felt without her. We were meant to be a family of 5. Zone defense! Incredible work Mama - look forward to updated family photos ❤️

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  3. Can I just tell you. I love your posts. Your posts and your daily facebook messages bring a smile to my face. You are the mother lion and how you love your cubs! And you remind me to live every moment in the best possible way I can. Thank you. And just one more thing...your pictures, oh how they get me. They bring me down memory lane w/ my sister (down syndrome, 52 years old!). She is independent, loves life and makes my life complete!

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  4. I'm expecting my 3rd in april...I also have a boy (3) and a girl ( 18 months). I remember thinking when my daughter was expected...what am I doing...life will never be the same. My son will no longer be my only one. It made me a little sad. Now with the third on the way I am more concerned about one getting left out, or if I may strangle on of them. I already find it difficult to get out with the two of them, shopping is almost impossible unless they are tied down. But I really miss the infant stage...I"m looking forward to #3 and the changes too. Good luck, your little boy will be here very soon.
    I was induced for both of mine...they were both over. I swear the day of my due date I get instantly depressed even though I know they won't come that day.

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  5. My first 2 kiddies were 15 months apart, boy first then girl, and it was crazy but prepared me to be a mom of 3! We moved when I was 7 months pregnant and had just enough time to settle before # 3 arrived. Now I have a 5yro, 4yro and 17months old. Today we all went to the doctor for pink eye and had to wait for a prescription after....we bought some snacks and people looked at me like I was crazy or annoying and it's my life! You'll be amazing. 3 is crazy but not a whole lot different then the crazy from before #3....we are just outnumbered now :D

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