Life is beautiful because Reid Layne is here....

My whole world has been turn upside down...But maybe that’s the beauty of life...That’s what I’m hoping...It’s really hard, heartbreaking actually to sit down & write the words I am about to share but for me I feel that it may bring some healing, some acceptance & if anything prayers or positive thoughts for my darling little girl...

Exactly two weeks ago Reid Layne McCallan made her entrance in this world...The labour & delivery according to the doc was straight forward & easy...He didn’t feel the contractions so “easy” isn’t the word I would have used...But compared to Noal’s it really was a much nicer delivery...Only a few hours of contractions & 4 pushes later & my baby girl was here...The same euphoric, amazement spell hit Craig & I, and we basked in the awe of creating a little life like we had with Noal...
In those first few hours with Reid & Craig, everything was just perfect...My good friend Sam was taking care of Noal & sending me picture updates so I wouldn’t worry...Reid scored good on the Apgar test, latched perfectly & seemed like a content little thing...Craig was the beautiful, sensitive man I loved, telling me how strong I was & how happy he was & that our little family was perfect...For two days I lived in this world until it bluntly came crashing down, nearly taking me with it in shock, saddness & fear...
A few hours before Reid & I were released from the hospital a Pediatric Heart Specialist came to listen to a heart murmur a nurse had heard the night before on Reid...This alone scared me & I called Craig who was watching Noal to come back to the hospital immediately...While the doc was listening for a heart murmur he looked at me with the saddest eyes possible & told me he didn’t hear a murmur but that he saw signs of Down Syndrome...I felt like he had slapped me across the face...Literally...What was he talking about? Why hadn’t anyone for 2 days mentioned anything like this? It had to be a joke?
Alone in the hospital waiting for Craig to come & a Genetics Specialist to confirm the Pediatric Specialist’s hunch, I remember feeling like I have never in my entire life felt before...Just utterly gutted...It felt like I couldn't breath...I just kept looking at Reid & praying, begging God that the doc was wrong...

The next few hours, days even, are a blur...The Genetics Specialist confirmed that Reid had Down Syndrome & my world just started spinning from there...I've never cried so much in my life...The feelings I had in the those first few days ranged from being heartbroken to angry to scared to guilty...
I was heartbroken for what it meant to my “perfect” little family...It wouldn’t be the life I envisioned us all having...Noal wouldn’t have the “normal” brother/sister relationship like I had with my brother...Craig wouldn't get to experience certain things in life that a dad/daughter share...I wouldn’t get the daughter I so badly wanted to teach everything in me to...
I was angry thinking why us? Why this little darling Reid? Why my funny little boy Noal? We’ve already been through so much & worked so hard in life- why this now on top of other things?

I was scared & still am about Reid’s life...At the time I didn’t know much about Down Syndrome and all I heard from the doctors was that there usually is other complications & she’ll have to be tested for this & that...

And I felt guilty about a lot of things...At first I kept playing the pregnancy over & over in my head- Did I do something wrong...Before I knew I was pregnant I was bloody jumping on a trampoline, I had a few gin & tonics on Mother’s day, & I picked up Noal the entire pregnancy...Did I cause this?

Then I felt guilty for feeling so sad & angry...I would look at her & to me she still seemed perfect...It still felt like the doctors were wrong...She to me just looked like my perfect little Reid & then I’d feel guilty for being so sad about things...I felt like she could sense I was sad and then felt guilty because that wasn’t fair to her...She was here & she was mine & no matter what, she was my perfect daughter so I should be happy...But those first few days I just couldn’t get out from the shock & blow of it all...

Thank God on high for my husband...I truly am with the person I am meant to be with...he held me up during that first week like no one else could...I love you Craig more than ever before...thank you for holding me during this...He said something to me that meant more than anything else & that will see us through this next challenging part of our journey...He said, “I’d rather have a harder life with you than an easier life with someone else”....Same Choo...Same....
That first week I just felt like it was all a bad dream...We had to go to numerous doc/specialist appts & have since learned that Reid will have to have serious eye & heart surgeries within the first few months of her life...Praying harder than I ever have that the hole in her heart closes & than she wouldn’t need the heart surgery...Let me tell you nothing has prepared me in life for a doctor advising me on signs to look for if my daughter goes into heart failure...It's just something you never want to hear, never want to be aware of & I pray a miracle happens & my baby girl's heart is made whole...PRAY FRIENDS PLEASE...

I'm just so beyond stunned...I just keep looking at her & praying that she will be okay...That she will survive these surgeries & that Craig & I will look back at these life changing days in a few years and smile at how much they changed us as people...Our whole lives will forever be different & I know deep down it's all for a reason...I can feel myself shifting to thinking more in that place instead of this sad, angry, scared, guilty place I’ve been in for 2 weeks...

I know she's here to teach us stuff in life and she'll undoubtedly change all of us to be more beautiful people...The worries I have about her & Noal not having the same relationship as me & my brother have been replaced with knowing she will teach Noal to be a sweeter, kinder little boy than just I could have taught him to be..... And I know we've been chosen to be her parents....Only 1 in every 700-800 babies has this disorder, she is strong & survived so far for a reason... She needs us & really when I think about it we need her... So, my goal is to raise another happy soul regardless the challenges...

So, there's my heart friends...It's broken & scared but a few things have lifted me up...As mentioned my Craig has been my rock- no surprise there- He is the strongest person I know & with him I can do anything...Our little family will be perfect...We will be that family that yes has challenges but that others look at & smile & even envy not look at us with pity...

Noal has also played a huge part in turning my thoughts around...When he kissed Reid for the first time I just about died...I realized right then & there that the relationship that the two of them will have will be beyond special & I don't need to worry about that piece of it...Yes, Noal's life will be different because of Reid but it's my job as their mumma to let them know it's exactly as God planned it to be...


Another moment I had was walking in to Reid's nursery...I spent days getting my crafty side on & making sure it was perfect...I walked into it a few days after getting home from the hospital & one of the paintings I had made above her crib read, "Life is beautiful because you are here"...This for some reason brought me to my knees...I cried harder than I ever have in my life...But it also was healing...I left the anger & hurt there in her room & truly got up from my knees feeling that my life, that Noal & Craig's life, that our family & friend's lives will all be brighter & more beautiful because of this special, unique, baby girl...


Family & friends have been amazing through this too...Please know every hug, word, thought & prayer has helped lift my heart...Everyone who encouraged Craig & I, dropped off food, sent flowers or gifts, checked in on us with calls, emails & texts...We thank you...We feel the love, appreciate it more than you'll know & might need encouragement along the way...


So, friends, think of my little Reid & my little family in the next little while...





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42 comments:

  1. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, little Reid is beautiful.
    Here is a link to a blog that you may at least be able to relate to.
    http://www.kellehampton.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

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  2. Anonymous30.12.12

    Tara, my heart breaks for u and this blog will forever be imprinted in my heart. Your a beautiful women,mother and wife, and this will make u so much stronger in your faith with God. You are teaching us all a valuable life lesson with sharing this story and I thank you for opening up your private thoughts for me to read as it is giving me such strength myself.
    My son Logan, the light of our lives for the past 2 1/2 years has been giving a pending diagnosis of Autism...like u our worlds seemed to end right there with those words. But with time, just as u have stated, we have grieved, prayed, gotten angry and all of the above, and one day the acceptance happened! He is a joy to everyone who meets him, and we will all as a whole family battle through this together no matter what the outcome.
    I pray for strength and understanding for you and Craig during this most confusing time. I pray for health and happiness for Reid, and although her life may be a struggle at times, she will as u have already experienced, leave a huge imprint on many hearts!!
    Best wishes to you and your family, and my thoughts and prayers will be with you as long as needed!!
    Sincerely Elizabeth Smith-Robertson

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  3. Courtney30.12.12

    Tara,

    From the few years we've worked together, you will always be known to me as an optimistic, funny and inspirational person. You have always confronted every hard issue with a closed hand to the mouth and your usual slang "Can I help you?". I wish in this tough time that I could be there to help you. I'm hoping that what I write will help you a little in some way... You are, and will always be an amazing mother. I am saddened, not by the news of the diagnosis...but of how you must be feeling. As a mother, it would be hard to get any news that your child would be confronted with any hardships...whatever they may be...in life. Your strength and optimism, which I remember so much in you, will be reflected in your beautiful daughter. She will be a strong, loving and beautiful person just like her mother. I will keep your family in my thoughts...
    ~Best Regards, Courtney Tremblay

    Down Syndrome Creed
    My face may be different, but my feelings the same,
    I laugh and I cry and take pride in my gains,
    I was sent here among you, to teach you to love,
    As God in heavens, looks down from above.
    To him I’m no different; His love knows no bounds,
    It’s those here among you in cities and towns,
    That judge me by standards that man has imparted,
    But this family I’ve chosen will help me get started.
    For I’m one of the children so special and few,
    That came here to learn the same lessons as you.
    That love is acceptance; it must come from the heart
    We all have the same purpose, though not the same start.
    The Lord gave me life, to live and embrace…
    And I’ll do as you do, but at my own pace.
    - Author Unknown

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  4. Anonymous30.12.12

    Reid is very beautiful and looks so sweet. It seems that every member of your family is special and wonderful. I strongly recommend noahsdad.com if you haven't been there yet.

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  5. Milica Vizirakis30.12.12

    Hi Tara... Ill try to write this through my tears... As a mom I can only imagine your pain for ypur sweet sweet princess., but I know God has chosen you to be her mama and I think that is so so special and yet so unbelievably hard. He will give us each our own cross to carry some heavier than others but nothing we cannot handle without His love. Please know that no family is perfect just perfect in His eyes! May God bless you with the strength each and everyday as you've already proved to the world just what an amazing Mom you are!! Xoxo

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  6. Nicole Jackson30.12.12

    Tara,
    I know we don't know eachother very well but I want you to know that I will be praying for you and your family as you go through all of these emotions. I also want to be able to provide some encouragement as well. My brother also has Down Syndrome. He is now 26 years old and Daniel is the funniest, most sensitive and caring person I know. His outlook on life, laughter and permanent smile is so contagious that you can't leave a room he is in angry. I met Daniel when he was 6 years old and although our relationship does have its challenges, so does every relationship. His capacity to love is overwhelming and I smile ear to ear when I think of him. He had a hole in his heart as a baby, something I wasn't around for so I honestly don't know your fear but know your strength. You will get through this and you will provide Reid with an amazing life. Remember, she doesn't know anything but love...Your love for her. Snuggle that beautiful little girl. No matter what, she's yours. She loves you and relies on you to show her the world. I know you can do it and I know that in turn, she is going to change your life for the better. Daniel did mine. Knowing him has become a priviledge. My kids have become kinder, gentler, more sensitive and patient because of "Uncle Daniel". Love you, praying for you and I'm here if you need me.

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  7. Anonymous30.12.12

    Tara, I just read your blog. Wow, I am so impressed with you.

    First off it is so important for women to allow themselves to feel, the fact that you have allowed yourself to feel the normal grieving emotions and that you have the bravery to share what you are going through is a testimony to your strength and character.

    Second of all, I am so sorry for the loss of what you envisioned, I can't imagine the devestation at the thought of your baby girl and all she may face. My cousin Bethy has DownSyndrome, she was not supposed to live past the age of 13, I am happy to say that she is a vibrant and gorgous happy 37 year old woman. The relationship and bond she has with her mother is unreal, my Aunt has another daughter and son that she loves beyon meauser, her bond with Bethy is something else though, it is truly sacred, the two of them speak their own language. Bethy has always been a bright spot in our family, she is so pure and beautiful and her sister and brother adore her.

    Your faith in God and your devotion to your marriage will carry you through this, I can't think of a woman better suited to have the compassion, patience, devotion, protection and joy to carry such an angelic soul as your daughters through this life.

    I know we aren't in touch much, God is a huge part of my life and I have always loved watching your love with your husband and family grow. I am here , if you'd ever like to talk, write or check in. My husband and I are praying for Reid and for your family.

    I see so much joy in your future, this first part of the journey is obviously going to be scary because she's such a little thing right now.

    So much love your way




    ps my husband just told me that in ancient times people with Downs Syndrome, the Mayan's, Inca's and Aztecs, were revered. They were believed to have special contact with the gods and were understood to have a sacred type of sensitivity , this makes sense to me after living my life with my cousing Bethy. Downs Syndrome comes from an extra chromosone, while the health scares that each person living with Downs Syndrome faces is not to be minimized, there is something to be said for the extra purity and sensitivity these beings come here with.


    Love Candise Pacheco ( I couldn't figure out how to sign in any other way then anonymous but I am not looking for privacy)

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  8. Anonymous30.12.12

    Hi Tara,

    Your decision to open up about little Reid is a good thing. I know that because I have had a lot of things happen in life that made me think what did I do wrong. The feelings you are having are okay and never let anyone tell you different. Your lives are going to be forever changed but not in a bad way, in a blessed way. Reid will teach everyone around her what the important things in life truly are and actually how to truly live life to the fullest. She is a very special little girl. You are a truly lucky family to be given such a gift. It may be hard to see that at times but one thing is for sure you will make it. You did nothing wrong just like my mother did nothing when I was born. I am not one of those people that look at your family and envy you but I do look at your little family with pride and joy knowing you have two very special children that each will teach the people around them so many things like my two soon to be three have. You are stronger than you think you are and I know you are the perfect momma for reid just like you are the perfect momma for Noal. They are two very lucky kids to have you and Craig as parents but you two are just as lucky to have them. Take life one day at a time, reflect on that day but when that day is over remember you have another one ahead of you for things to get better as hard as it may seem right now.

    Love and prayers
    Nicole

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  9. Erica Takeshima30.12.12

    Dearest Tara : Just a few words to remind you why you were chosen for this little Miracle you have received and that will love you and you her beyond measure. I Am certain God made the right decision to Allow you to have Reid as your baby you are the greatest person I can think of to be truely blessed with this little miracle. Your innocence, Humour and constant compassion are the perfect ingredients for a Mama with a baby as unique as Reid. My mother for years has been a worker for Special needs individuals and through her love and Compassion I have seen how truely special these indivuals are their capacity for love is beyond measure they only know true and unconditional love...which is what you share with your "Dougie" and "NOALENE" ... Reid no doubt with fit into your wonderful family with ease... your capacity to always see the best in people no matter what and your constant "No Judging attitude" will Make you the perfect mother For your little Princess!!! ... we love you are will always be praying for you and Cant wait for the updates... Already believing Gods Bandaid is already covering Reid's heart and his healing hand touching her eyes as well as your Heart.
    Keep your head up and your arms around your family!!!
    Love the Takeshima and Snively Family.

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  10. Sending you all the love and prayers that one can send..your words are very powerful and touching, little Reid is lucky to have you as her momma, Craig as her daddy and Noal as her big brother. Positive Powerful words and vibes are truly a wonderful way of healing. Thinking of you and your family during all the ups and downs you will encounter and know that I will be thinking of you often xox

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  11. Tara - I'm back reading your words above again they are unbelievably touching and meaningful. I can't even begin to tell you how strong you are and how absolutely beautiful your family is. I hope that one day, I can be half the mother you are. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers and little Reid is such an angel. I can't wait to meet her. Sending all my love and big hugs to you and Craig. xo

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  12. Tara: Here are some snippets from our earlier conversations for those days when you may need a reminder that life is good (albeit challenging and sometimes just downright unfair seeming)...

    "I'm speechless. I had no idea what you were going through. Anything I could possibly say would just seem to trivialize what is obviously a real life-changing situation. However, I guess if I were to say anything this is what it would be... Things in life happen for a reason (as you say)...I'm not an overly spiritual person, but I hold true to the notion that very little in our lives is accidental. I've known you for so little time, but I can tell you with certainty that you are an AMAZING mother and a beautiful, caring, and nurturing person. Reid has been given to you because you (and Craig, and Noal and all your wonderful family members) will do her justice and give her the life she deserves. She is in a strange and unexplainable way, a gift to you..."

    ..."as time goes on, even with the challenges and heartache that you will face, your lives will have been enhanced in ways you won't be able to explain to people."

    "I feel sad for you because this is something that no parent can prepare themselves for, and I can't imagine how difficult these next few days and weeks, and months will be with all the physical (and mental) exhaustion you're going to face with appointments and tests, and all that extra stuff that parents of non-challenged children are faced with and still find exhausting..."

    "...my shoulder will always be here for you to cry on and my ear will always be here for you when you need a friend, not just during the rough times, but also during those amazing moments and milestones you WILL have with your sweet little girl..."


    "...this may be easy for me to say sitting here, but, chin up, and remember, you can do this, and you will do an amazing job at it. Everyone believes in you...I'm confident of that..."


    "...Thank YOU. YOU are inspiring. We as individuals will never understand the impact we have on other people but I KNOW that you are someone that people have held and will continue to hold in high regard as your journey continues. It's people like you that give hope and strength to others. When I look at the people who have come in and out of my life (for however long a stint it may be) and who have positively impacted or enhanced my life in one way or another, they all share some common traits...honesty, openness, candidness, and the ability to remain humble. You embody each and every one of these traits...I wish I had met you earlier! So again, thank you. I (and all of those other friends and family members you inspire) look forward to joining you in all that is to come."

    XOX Colleen XOX

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  13. Anonymous30.12.12

    Dear Tara:
    I am soo sorry to hear about the tears you have shed in the last few weeks. I truly hope that you will find it in your heart to turn this unfortunate experience into one that will give you much comfort.
    I truly believe that god does not give you more than you can handle for this reason, I wish you all the best.
    I will be thinking and praying for you and your family.
    Take care.

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  14. Anonymous30.12.12

    Dear Tara & Craig

    I too am writing thru my tears for you both. She is absolutely beautiful
    but your words and courage are so thoughtful and inspiring, I just know
    you will all be OK. You are so strong and we will be praying for all of
    you as you face the challenges ahead. God never gives us more than wecan
    bear.

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  15. Gloria Trothen30.12.12

    What a journey you have had in such a short period of time. I'm so proud of you for your unparalleled honesty, strength and unwavering love. God knew exactly what he was doing when he hand picked you to be Reid's mommy and Craig to be her daddy. He also knew that Noal needed a Reid and that Reid needed a Noal. You have the perfect family indeed. Always praying for you guys...

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  16. Anonymous30.12.12

    Your little Reid is more beautiful than the first picture i have seen... You seem like a strong woman and Craig seems like the perfect husband, and I know that you guys will get through this... You indeed have the perfect little family....I will be thinking and praying for you and your family....xoxo

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  17. Tara - how brave of you to be so open & real with us. I have no doubt that any mother going through the same or similar situations will be able to find some comfort in knowing they're not alone and that they shouldn't feel guilt about mourning the change in their plans for their family. I have every confidence that your family will be richer than you ever imagined because of the gift that God has blessed you with. I can't imagine the challenges that you are facing right now and I will pray for you and your family every time I think of you.
    Dana G

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  18. Anonymous30.12.12

    Tara.
    I'm in complete tears right now. Both Kevin and I. We don't know what to say or how to make this any better for both of you. Thank you for sharing that amazing story. I wish I had your number or cell I could text you.
    God has chosen you for a reason. You are a strong woman, an amazing mother. Craig and you will get thru this he is your rock and will guide you threw this.
    Reid is in the perfect family to be loved and felt amazing. No one will treat her any differently. She's perfect. Just perfect. Hold her tight. Kiss her often and let her know everything is going to be alright. Xoxo
    We are sending our prayers and thinking of you guys every minute of every day. We are always here and are so proud of you, Craig and Noal.

    Love you guys
    Xoxo
    Kevin,Jenn
    Lily and Ella. Xoxo

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  19. Lore-Lee Fortin30.12.12

    Thank you so much for sharing your heartwrenching, raw emotions. Your story is so beautifully told and incredibly touching. Reid, you and your beautiful family are in my thoughts and prayers. Praying for Precious Reid's little heart and sending her strength to get through whatever journey's lay ahead. You are such a strong woman Tara and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing such vulnerable emotions with the world. As others reach out to help you during this truly difficult time, please know you've helped others as well. Reid is so precious and absolutely beautiful! Lore-Lee xoxo

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  20. Anonymous30.12.12

    My thoughts and prayers are with Reid and your family during this difficult time. I have worked with kids with down syndrome before and i must say, they are the sweetest little ones out there. Will be praying for her throughout all her surgeries and for her little heart. She is truly a doll...soo precious!! You couldn't have said the story any better!! All the best!! Luv the BOS family!

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  21. Anonymous30.12.12

    Praying for your litte girl's eye and heart surgeries to go well and better yet, for God to heal her completely. Although your family is not what you envisioned, it is still your family with a beautiful boy and a beautiful girl and they will both bring you joy throughout your life. Children with downs are loving and your daughter will touch people in ways that you have never imagined...watch closely. Prayers for your family for strength, happiness, and health. Praying that her surgeries are unnecessary and the hole in her heart will close and her eyes will be healed. God only gives us what we can handle, and the rest only makes you stronger. God bless you all.

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  22. Lovely heartfelt story. God bless you and your beautiful family. Sending you prayers of healing.

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  23. Anonymous31.12.12

    Tara xo
    I know that you must be getting an overwhelming amount of messages full of prayers and love from all of your friends and family right now, but I couldn't not respond to your blog post that I read just this morning. All I can say is that your family must be something mighty special, perhaps more than you your selves even knew before, I believe that these very important children are sent to those who have the special ability and kind of love that is needed to raise them up. Reid has been given to you for a very important purpose and your life from this point on will be about discovering gods plan and purpose for your family. You couldn't have been more correct when you talked about Noals relationship with his sister, this experience will make him a very special kind of Son, Brother and Person. As a mother I can feel your pain, the loss of a future that you had planed in your head and the type of relationships you longed for. Your life is going to be very different then you could have ever imagined but its up to you and your family to make of for the better, right! You are an amazing person and you have such a wonderful family support Reid will blossom into an amazing person too, just like her Mum. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and to keep your friends up to date on any things that will require more and more prayers because there are lots out there all for you and your family xo
    Have fun and dont stop enjoying every second xo
    Love Bon

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  24. Anonymous31.12.12

    Tara, just a little note to let you know that we are thinking of you often these days and sending up prayers for you, your family and mostly for Reid. She is certainly a little angel sent from Heaven.
    As I have mentioned to you before, in my heart of hearts, I truly believe that she was sent to you for a reason - for God does not give us more that we can handle. It may at times feel like it is too much, but you will see that this too shall pass and you will make it through it all. And, knowing you, it will be done with flying colours!
    In your blog, I sense that you are mourning a bit the "normal" relationship that you dreamed Reid and Noal would have - a relationship just like you and Eric have. The one thing that you can take comfort in is that this IS their normal. Noal will only know Reid the way that he knows her now. To him, she is his sweet, special, wonderful little sister - and always will be. That is their "normal". And I feel that the wonderful relationship that you have with your brother will just lift you up during this time.
    You have some really great men in your life - your husband Craig, your brother and your dad - and they will all help Noal be the great man that he is to become. And you..... well, you are a great, wonderful and inspiring woman. So Reid has no choice but to grow up and be the same type of woman that you are!
    Hugs to you all! Sorry to be so long winded......... but please know that we love you guys and think of you often and smile.
    Love,
    Denise, Chris, Jake & Sam

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  25. Anonymous31.12.12

    Hey Tara,
    I read your most beautiful and heartbreaking news about Reid last night. I could barely sleep and have been thinking about you all day. My heart breaks for you and Craig and I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you guys and praying for Reid as she undergoes her surgeries etc. I cant even imagine how you are managing this news but it sounds like you are dealing with this amazingly. You have such a beautiful attitude about it. Reid is gorgeous- and I think you are an amazing mom- she is so so lucky. I also worked with a girl with downs syndrome when I was in windsor for a couple years- she touched my heart beyond anything I could have known and I still keep in touch with her family. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in this. Anyhow, I know you must be overwhelmed right now. Just wanted to send some love and a big huge hug. xoxo
    Ava

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  26. Sheila Armstrong31.12.12

    You are in my thoughts and prayers! You have been given a gift from God and he knows you will be able to handle all the struggles and blessings ahead of your wonderful family. Sometimes there are no answers to our questions. Stay strong and keep the faith! Please keep us posted on your wonderful family.
    Sheila

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  27. Anonymous31.12.12

    This was so heartfelt, honest, and inspiring to read. Craig's words to you about preferring a harder life with you rather than an easier one with someone else brought tears to my eyes. You truly are an amazing mother, wife, and woman. It was so inspiring to see how your attitude has changed and shifted in these few short weeks. It says a lot about the strength of your character and the love within your family.

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  28. Anonymous1.1.13

    Tara - that was so heartfelt. I felt like I was on that roller coaster of emotions right along with you. Little Reid is lucky to have you, Craig and Noal in her life - she will get showered with so much love. Thank you for sharing. ((Hugs))
    Sharon (your mom's friend from work)

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  29. Sarah Birnie2.1.13

    Wow...this post is incredibly beautiful T. You have such a talent for expressing yourself in such a relatable way. Everyone who commented is so right- she has been born to the perfect family and she will have a beautiful life- without a doubt. You have so much love to give, all 3 of you. I cannot wait to meet the little peach. Again I'm a quick drive away so will come down anytime you need a hand or even a laugh xoxo

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  30. Anonymous2.1.13

    Tara Congratulations on the birth of Reid.

    I found reading your mail sad, I have been really enjoying staying in touch with your ongoing love story over Facebook...

    It's impossible to understand why this has happened ...but somehow you already do...that's the wonderful thing about your mail...you have an insight that as far as I can understand does not come until much later in Reid's journey, it confirms to me that you have been uniquely prepared for this experience and as a result it will bring forth fruit that only this unique combination of love and challenge can bring.

    I'm sorry to be practical, but I was also struck by the quality of your written word you have a very compelling style perhaps that's the first great thing to come from this.... Consider keeping a journal, in time you may see how your experience can help others....Reid and Rite...so to speak

    I am praying for you and will continue...please send my regards to Craig...and all the family..Noal and Reid are beautiful....

    I will stay in touch

    Love

    Kieran

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  31. Hey lady,
    I don't EVER reply to your blog, but I do read it on a week to week basis when I can. I have already read the update on Reid's heart and I'm SOOOO glad that Jesus has intervened for you guys. Just know that as difficult as the road ahead may be, you have one hell of a husband and one big God. I teach kids with this disorder and many other special needs and they are seriously the COOLEST cats out there. I love them to death. You are so blessed and I will continue to pray for you and yours!
    Lots of love!
    Emma Riach

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  32. Anonymous8.1.13

    I was so moved by your words. In times like this we never know quite what to say or always know how to be supportive. Just know that u r all in our thoughts and prayers and we can only think good things. For your beautiful baby girl comes from a determined set of parents with good hearts and I know she was brought to this family because we can only see the positive and love her unconditionally. I am so very proud of u and Craig. Wishing we were closer so I could hold Reid in my arms and tell her what wonderful parents she has while giving her as much loving as I can. I can't wait to meet her. Until then know that we may be far away in distance but u r all close in our hearts and only a phone call away. Reid is a perfect little angel and even though she has some challenges ahead of her she is strong like her parents. Thank u for sharing with us and keeping us updated We love u all very much. XOXO

    Leigh Anne

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  33. Anonymous26.2.13

    I just read your blog for the first time and felt everything you felt at one time. Our little girl Sophie was born Sept. 2011. We had some idea she would be born with DS, but no confirmation until 1 week after she was born. It was a roller coaster at first! As we have settled into life we have realized how much of a blessing our little Sophie is and how true the DS creed is. She does everything any other baby does, just in her time. It actually helps us slow down some and enjoy! Reid is absolutely adorable and we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers!

    If you are intersted, here is our little blog we started. We have so much more we want to add, but time is short. http://sophiesstoryt21.blogspot.com/2012/08/how-our-story-began.html

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  34. Amazing....thank you everyone for every word, thought, comment, message, email & prayer for Reid, me & my little family...

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  35. I really like this post -- it's very moving. Wishing you strength and the best outcomes for little Reid's upcoming surgeries. She's so beautiful, and you have such a nice way of saying things. I love her pretty nursery.

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  36. Oh my. First of all, your daughter is beyond beautiful! Congratulations!
    And my heart goes out to you. It's such a difficult place to be, where you are now. With all the fear and uncertainty still there, a diagnosis still fresh.

    I don't personally believe the "chosen by God" bit - I think the extra chromosome just happens at conception. For some reason, the cells don't divide as they typically do, and an extra chromosome is there (- and NOTHING you did during pregnancy caused this; her having an extra chromosome was there from conception, from the very beginning).

    But I believe the choice in what we do once we have a child with an extra chromosome is God's gift to us. How we want to use this: as an opportunity to grow and transform, to love more fully and fiercely? It is all what we make of it. It's our choice and it can be a beautiful, life-changing, deep and satisfying choice.

    I don't know if any of this makes sense at all now. Most of all, I wanted to say:

    I hear you.
    I understand what you are going through.
    It's going to get so much better, you'll look back on this and marvel that you once felt this way.
    Love is coming your way.
    And prayers are too.

    This community is here for you, Mama.

    xoxo

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  37. Anonymous17.5.13

    she is precious just remember there is no such thing as perfect we are All perfect for us .You have a beautiful family and the love comes through in your written words Reid is just a perfect enhancement enjoy her! lots of love and good wishes to you all your life is set to become FULL of smiles all the best xxxx

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  38. Anonymous22.6.13

    our sweet boy is playing in the tub right now... giggling and just being him.. our bugg's .. aka.. taylor doss .. is my daughters son --he was born when she was only 23 and a single mom.. he is our families pride and true joy.. he will be 6 on july 3rd,2013 .. his poppa wouldn't let our 3 grand -daughters call him grandpa..that all changed when our lives opened up to the special world we were placed in with his birth.. his hole in his heart closed naturally .. we were very lucky.. he has a compromised immune system so he does get sick easier and long and sometimes more seriously than his 2 little brothers..he adores them and the feeling is mutual... he is learning signs now as his his vocabulary is >30 words.. but this too is an adventure for us all.. he has started teaching his 2 yr. old brother to sign-- so we better catch up with them ..lol..I stop people when they say "i'm sorry" "why? we're not.. " .. also I correct them because he is not dis- abled .. rather he is different - abled .. so my advice is sit back and enjoy this wonderful new world that you have all joined into with us... it's a really special place to be admitted to..we were all chosen for these sweet babies because we too are special to love them with all our heart and soul.. yes there is challenges -- still trying to potty train right now is our big one ..but worth every single minute of their existence with us... <3 from bugg's nunna and poppa -- Everett Washington.. <3

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  39. Told u I'd keep reading, and now I am in tears. They are happy tears though because I know how quickly all that sadness changes to love and you end up thanking God for the special gift you have been given. ♥💗♥💗

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  40. I'm so touched reading your blog.....I've book-marked this and will be helping in every possible way I can as soon as get my first job.....You're going through things just like my family....My dad's side of the family has a genetic abnormality that was passed on to me too....Remember through all your tears that things happen in life for a reason.... You are at the correct place in the universe and are going through challenges so that you may learn lessons that you were supposed to learn.....Your daughter choose you for a very good reason...so that she may get your love .... so that you may open your heart a little more

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  41. Anonymous23.2.15

    I translated this story into Spanish to my mum and she told me she had a similar story. The difference is that she knew what D.S. was about. But she had a wrong perspective. She had a friend who was a teacher in a school for poor special children and she thought her daughter was going to be like that, not knowing how to read or write or even speak. She felt scared and she tells me laughing now (she has completed healed) that she wanted to leave the baby in the hospital and pay for every day that passed. The docotr acted very cold and objective as doctors usually are, and say "Excuse me, we don't offer that service of hosting a baby". My mother packed and took my sister in her arms and the doctor, who was very aware of my mum's feelings even though she didn't spoke openly to him, said "Just one more thing: this baby is going to bring you more joy and laughter than any of your other children". My mum looked at him like "yeah, whatever" and came home where we waiting for her. Then she made the connection in a few days. And now they are best friends with my sister. They are even the same sign "Chinesse snake" and I can't imagine my mum without her because they were made for each other, they have the same sense of humour (sarcastic), they love gossip and drama, and both of them like shopping, etc. I'm glad God gave her this little present.

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  42. Anonymous24.2.15

    Sorry for my English, when I said "they are best friends with my mother" I meant "My mother and my D.S. sister are best friends now" ;)

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