The Moment I'm taking away....

I forget birthdays, anniversaries & phone numbers, heck half the time I give out mine I'm half doubting I even gave the right one...


But 3 dates will forever be in my head...January 25th ~ May 2ndAug 30th 


3 times in which I could barely breath I was so scared...3 circumstances in which I fell weeping into my husband's arms...3 nurses I will forever remember because they took away my little Pip...3 long waiting-praying-nervously-twitching-my-leg-getting-annoyed-with-any-and-everyone-in-the-waiting-room days...And 3 grateful to the point of awkward hugs, to surgeons giving me good news...


In those 3 days there definitely is a lot I could remember...The heavy smell of iodine, the little iv & marks all over her body, the oxygen she needed in order to stabilize afterwards...I could go on & on about the sad look others give you when they realize your little baby is getting operated on or the look of pity when you say it's her 3rd one...I could even try & describe in detail all the emotions you go through as a mumma, when the time comes & you have to take off her carefully picked "surgery" outfit to change her into a tiny hospital gown...But I won't...



The memory I will hold within me & the one I choose to reflect on the most is the 3 life-changing moments when Pip was first placed into my arms in recovery...Nothing, absolutely nothing, can prepare you for this moment...The overwhelming gratitude to God-Fate-Karma whomever is so real you can feel nothing else...



Holding Pip last Friday, feeling her heart beat against mine, seeing her open her eyes for the first time, really puts life in perspective friends...


I don't care if Pip ends up bat-shite blind, with 2 bloody patches or coke-bottle glasses...All I care is that she's alive, she's happy & she's mine...All these surgeries have a way of really showing me what matters & having her recover in my arms is the moment I'm taking away from this one...



Thank you friends, again, for thinking of my Pip...Of me...Of our little family...


Much love

4 comments:

  1. Our Little Man just had his 15th surgery-he's 12. I walk away from every surgical room when he goes to sleep in tears - and sit in every recovery room when he first speaks also in tears. I ask every time why it has never gotten easier. Most are minor and he will forever go through these procedures, but I cannot express how much I know EXACTLY how you feel. Wishing you both a safe recovery!

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  2. Mandy Jay3.9.13

    Wooooo... Tears! God bless you Tara! xo

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  3. Anonymous3.9.13

    You continue to amaze me with your writing Tara. You've taken away just what was intended for you to take away. God bless you for being in the right place at the right time to be given this special gift of a very special little girl. Jill

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  4. You all be in my prayers.... U r so strong...it gives me strength for what i have to be ready with my lil luna....

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