At the end of the day all that matters is a Happy Soul...

Its funny what I use to think mattered in life...I guess with all things, you look back at what once was, with so much more wisdom, clarity & insight...I guess having a child brings such a perspective to ones life...But, having a child with special needs brings almost an urgency or demand to have to live in the moment...To take each day one at a time & be grateful for the progress made that day & to look forward to the next & what it will bring...

The past few weeks with Reid have been eye opening to say the least...Learning about Down Syndrome, having to deal with doctors/specialist & what seems like appointment after appointment has been a lot to take in...However, seeing how very sick some of the children in the hospitals are has made me grateful for what we are dealing with however hard I find it...
Today was Reids pre-op appt for her upcoming eye surgery on Friday...{No miracle yet- but still hoping!!!} The doctors had to go over the risks involved & I wont get into all that detail, but know that this mumma bear will be a bundle of nerves till I have her back safely in my arms...I had to hold her down this morning while a doctor did a test & I almost started bawling thinking about her getting wheeled away from me & getting put out...Its hard to let go- I have absolutely no control over this...As much as I wish I could, this is not something I can fix with a mummy kiss or snuggle...When I pictured my life, I truly never thought I would have to be worried about my one month old daughter facing a major surgery, but this is my reality...And as much as I wish Reid was born as healthy as can be, I have to accept the fact that she wasnt...That docs/specialist & therapist & tests & appointments will be a part of our lives, but that all those involved will do their very best to have her as healthy as she can be...

I really did take for granted how healthy my son was...As a new mum, a diaper rash was a big deal- I can remember calling my friends Jenn & Sarah all in a panic as if it were the end of the world because Noal had a rash or snotty nose...Oh how I wish that with Reid...that my only worries were a bum rash or a cold...Im so utterly worried for her & for Craig having to put up with me in the waiting room during the surgery...Good luck love!!! He thinks I have ADD normally- just you wait till it comes out with worry, anxiety & fear on top...

 
So, as I learn to let go of what I cant control- I realized that all that really matters is how I live my life & teach my babies to live theirs...I cant control that Noal is a busy boy, has my short little legs & has my sassy personality...I cant control that Reid was born with Down Syndrome, had a hole in her heart or needs eye surgery...I can only control how I handle what has been given to me- How I hope to raise Noal & Reid to be loving, kind, open minded, grateful & Happy Little Souls...At the end of the day this is what I truly believe to be important...For me to live my life with a Happy Soul & for others to see that & to pass it on to my heart ~ Noal & Reid...
 
That in turn has brought a change in me & a change in the blog...What once was Pin Me t...has now become Happy Soul Project- As much as I loved the other blog- the whole direction of my life has changed & I felt since the blog is a reflection of my life it should change as well...

So, dear friends I hope you continue to walk on this journey with me...Please continue to think of my sweet Reid- her surgery is 7:30 am on Friday- so again send all that you can out!!!

And thank you...You will never really know how much your messages & thoughts regarding the blog, my family & especially Reid mean to me...How much they have lifted me up, made me want to continue writing & sharing my story & helped provide a miracle...Im so very lucky for all those in my life who love me...Thank you







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12 comments:

  1. You're amazing T! This is beautiful. Love you and the fam :)

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  2. this new look and new outlook is so great Tara! love it!

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  3. Bless your heart and your Beautiful family. Positive thoughts :)

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  4. Patti Olsen23.1.13

    I will continue to pray for your preciuos little girl. I love it that you call this your happy soul project. I know you must have difficult moments, but your persepctive is wonderful. There is a young girl at the Rising Assoc, around 12 years of age who has CP , is totally blind, and has disfigured hands. She is amazing- her parents have raised her to be a happy soul and she is one of the happiest most well adjusted children I have ever met. You just cannot help but be happy when you are around her. You are giving this gift to your children.

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  5. Anonymous24.1.13

    I love how youve made changes to your blog, its very inspirational. I know as a mom, I take things for granted, each and every time I read your blogs I look at my kids differently thanks to you. I will be thinking of you little precious Reed and her family during this hard time. Hope all goes well, and well be praying for you...

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  6. Sending love and prayers for your sweet baby girl tomorrow. Lots of love.

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  7. I hardly know you Tara, but I've watched from afar, mostly through common Facebook friends. My days of diapers, snotty noses and bum rashes are now all about my grandchildren. Your blog has been so inspiring - even to this old granny. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful Reid tomorrow.

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  8. Anonymous24.1.13

    Sending prayers, love and well wishes to your beautiful family. ♥ Tracy

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  9. Anonymous25.1.13

    you are amazing. all of my morning thoughts are yours

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  10. Thinking about you and your beautiful children. Saw a picture of Reid on FB today and it took me right back to those hospital days... Wishing you strength and peace.

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  11. Thank you everyone for all the love....Much Much appreciated....

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  12. Anonymous18.7.14

    Bless you all. Thank you for sharing this beautiful loving story! xo

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