I'm utterly exhausted. 
I have red circles so deeply burrowed in both my eye sockets both my son & my husband have asked if they'll go away.
My own mother, who has never said one mean thing to me about my appearance before, admitted I look the part of a strung-out-homeless-gal. 

 I'm barely swimming here folks. 

And I have the help of a husband home lately. 
And a mom whose lovingly been here for a month. 

And I'm still just barely holding on. 

My three kids are intense to begin with. 
Heck, nevermind the fact that I'm my daughter's living organ 24/7. 
But, add in this kick-in-the-balls, 3 days before her Fifth Birthday.

And the Holidays, hosting a Full-House-of-family. 

Combating not only that my 45-pound-child now has to be carried or in a wheelchair for a month-&-a-half. But, her Type-One-Diabetes daily nonsense is completely thrown off because her activity level has plummeted since her surgery. Add in watching out for gluten because of Celiac Disease & a wicked case-of-the-flu taking a few of us out. 

Then keep in mind, I have three-of-them.
And they all are at the age, that I am still their everything

But, now that I am stretched taking on these extra demands. 
I have less time for each, like I normally do. 
So, they're acting out. HARD.

My six-year-old is beyond what I'd call bratty. 
My five-year-old is super sucky, crying for momma numerous times a day. 
And my two-year-old is being a real dick about bedtime. 

Am I pushed to my limits? You bet.

Then add in the Holidays. 
The gifts, making it special, Santa & the darn-but-oh-so-magical Elf. 
All the extra stuff. 
Then the unstoppable need to purge. 
And Reset. 

In the midst of it all, trying to stay connected to friends & social media. But barely finding the energy to stay awake long enough to live vicariously through others. And not even feeling slightly jealous, because I'm so damn tired. I literally just feel tired for them. I can't even imagine gusto-ing up enough energy to do what they're doing. 

But thankfully, I can see light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel because my Pip, like she ALWAYS DOES. 

Lives her life #RefusingtoSINK
And teaches me to do the same. 

And I'm always in awe. 
And encouraged by her zeal.
And watching her live her life like she does, somehow makes me feel stronger.

It humbles me, that I have been chosen, to make her ALWAYS feel the way that she does.

To feel like she can conquer anything. 
To feel happy despite a situation. 
And to feel like she lives bravely.
Like her momma is trying to do.

To those swimming too, FIGHT ON.

And lets all feel hope together, for 2018...