Today I'm thankful she teaches me to always be kind to others, even if I'm in a right-snarly-mood & want to teach someone a lesson. Yesterday, we had one of Pip's what-feels-like-bazillionth specialist's appointments & as much as I wanted to school this little old lady, I let my daughter do it instead.
In a waiting room, no matter what, Pip always draws attention. Mostly, people smile or engage in small talk which lights her up. But every once in awhile, I get "that look" when they realize Pip has Down syndrome.
It's a look that I instantly pick up on now & if I let it, it has the power to make me want to cry-yell-shake-and-scream. It's a look of sheer pity with a sympathy smile added on top. It's a look that truly makes me cringe & want to get on a soap box to preach my daughter's worth.
But this time, instead of saying anything, I did nothing.
I let the little old lady watch as Pip and I giggled up a storm. I let the little old lady watch as Pip said hi to any & everyone who entered the room. I let the little old lady watch as Pip helped a baby when he fell & held the hand of a nurse she adores. I let the little old lady watch as Pip asked for music & then danced in her chair, making everyone instantly smile. And I let the little old lady watch as my daughter signed & said, "Love you Mom" over & over.
And then when they called our name to be finally seen, I took off the imaginary sign, I felt like I was wearing around my neck that read, "DO NOT PITY MY LIFE" & turned to the little old lady with the biggest-smile-showing-my-upper-gum, proudly grabbed my daughter's hand & walked away...
5 Comments
Different is beautiful. Now, that little old lady knows it too. :)
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, little old ladies grew up in a time when there was far less respect and lower expectation of good outcomes for kids with any sort of developmental delays. That's what I have to tell myself when my grandmother treats my two kids, 10 and 7. as she would treat two year olds. Pick the battles.
ReplyDeleteI get it can be generational but doesn't mean I can't try to change that generations perspective...
DeleteAlso have to remember they may have their own differences like dementia...
ReplyDeleteNo one, young, old, with dementia, without dementia, generational, has the right to look at and judge anyone else. It is no one's right to judge others based on their appearance. It's pretty awful and unfair. No one knows anything about anyone just by watching them. T, you are a big woman for doing what you did. I get it tho. Hopefully you can feel amazing knowing that Pip changed that ladies judgy thoughts. She probably went home telling everyone and anyone she could about the beautiful, energetic, happy little girl she saw at the doctor today :)
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