Being a blogger & sharing my life now, for a few years, I've grown a "thick-skin-if-you-will" around other people commenting on my life.
I've learn to take the "Car-Seat-Crusader" with a grain of salt but also have a respectful acceptance of learning to be safer for my kids.
I've taken the hits for feeding my kids too many hotdogs or having the tv on in basically every picture I take, because only I know how picky my kids really are & how most days to survive, I need a little help from Paw Patrol. Only I know how hard it is to transition my daughter to a gluten-free diet because at 3 she was diagnosed with Celiac disease. And only I know how truly lazy I am, mixed in with an utter dislike for cooking, how many days I've had to get a pizza delivered.
I've somehow, even been able to train myself to feel a sadness instead of anger when ignorant, unnecessarily mean people make comments like, "You should have aborted her or she's a strain on tax payers" on a picture of my daughter Pip, who just happens to have Down syndrome.
I've realized that some people like my sense of humour, while others find me optimistically annoying. I've accepted that I can change some people's views about certain issues dear to my heart, while others don't understand why I fight the fight I do. I've heard that some people like my hair, style, home & clothes, while others think it's all a hot-bloody-mess. And I've learn that while some people think I'm a bad mom, most know I'm an-absolute-fan-freaking-tastic one.
Cause I am. Truly.
Wanna know how I know?
All 3 of my kid's faces light up when they see me.
They know they are loved, so very, loved.
And they are happy. They are kind. They are confident, hilarious little souls that deserve to be celebrated.
Yesterday I posted about how my husband & I got to spend a little alone time with our oldest son.
"Noal was only 7mths old when I became pregnant with Pip, so all he has ever known is life with his sister. We try & do things with Noal to carve out time & make him feel special, but typically that means it's one on one with either me or my husband. We don't normally get the chance to both just be with him, without Pip. Tonight we watched him play road hockey & then took him out to grab a hotdog. Nothing overly special, but watching him love up the attention from both of us, made me realize we need to try & do this more."
From that post, a comment was made that has been swirling around in my mind all day. It was made in the tone of a "Momma Judge" - a passively, aggressive tone that comes off as being a perfect-momma-who-seems-to-have-figured-out-this-whole-parenting-thing. And if that's the case, Sweet Jesus, I'm happy for you.
But me, I haven't figured it out yet. I'm learning day by day. I clearly make mistakes, my kids consume way too much food outta a box, we dance more than the average ballerina, our screen time quota would probably blow some minds & I don't let them cry it out EVER - But, that's the point. It's not meant to be perfect. It's not meant to be the same for all of us - It's just meant to work and be this big, beautiful chaos that makes your head spin. It's meant to be such a whirlwind, that when you look back, like all the good parents do, you think "Man, time flew."
And because life moves faster than any of us want, and because time is precious, why waste it judging how another momma does anything?
Let's lift each other up, clinking glasses & toasting to just surviving another day. Let's learn to celebrate the small things. Like I was trying to yesterday.
Yesterday I chose to celebrate alone time with my son. I celebrated the look of pride when he scored a goal, I celebrated the funny stories he told cause he had my full attention and I celebrated the fact that I knew he felt very, very loved.
Every day, in some way, I celebrate them and that ain't gonna change my friends. So, by all means, if you have to, judge my carseat installation, throw me under the bus about the consumption of hotdogs in our house but let me decide what is worth celebrating. Let me be the one to determine what I'm grateful for each day. Let me be the one to find beauty in the imperfect chaos.
k, thanks...
k, thanks...
15 Comments
You rock sincerely ! You are an example of a mama who work hard to make her family happy ! Never let anyone doubt about ! I would like to see them walk in your shoes for a day ! YOU HAVE MY RESPECT :)
ReplyDeleteKeep rocking there world :) xx
I have been following your posts for some time now. I just want to tell you how much I admire you and your cause. Pictures of your family make me smile. As you said there are no perfect parents but their success is measured by the happiness in their families. God bless xxxxx
ReplyDeleteI have been following your posts for some time now. I just want to tell you how much I admire you and your cause. Pictures of your family make me smile. As you said there are no perfect parents but their success is measured by the happiness in their families. God bless xxxxx
ReplyDeleteTara you are truly THE BOMB!!
ReplyDeleteYou ARE a fantastic mom Tara! Don't let the haters bring you down. Jealousy is a mean animal!! Maybe she should stop reading your blog if she's so offended. I admire you and your wonderful family.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing the photos and videos of your kids, especially Pip, who reminds me of my baby girl. I am a mom of two kids, an eight-year-old boy and and four-year-old girl who happens to have Ds. You are beyond brave to open up your life to the world and I appreciate your candour and gumption. What can I say except haters gonna hate? Keep on truckin',T!
ReplyDeleteYour pics, videos and posts make me smile every single day. I go searching for them, especially if I am feeling blah. I'm a 53 year old mother of 2 girls whose babysitter was quite frequently a Disney movie while eating goldfish crackers and hotdogs. You do what keeps them smiling and what keeps you sane. For some it might be feeding their toddlers kale salads and if they can accomplish that then I truly salute them but please don't pass judgment, so not cool.
ReplyDeleteYou inspire many, keep up the great work!!
Love love love everything you do and the fight you fight!!! You have Inspired me to find something to be thankful every. Single. Day. While raising a family and living a chaotic life. Today I'm thankful for people like you and the fight you're fighting!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry. Not in sadness but at the amount of strength it takes for you to put yourself out there and show some vulnerability. As a society, but maybe more importantly, as women, we should be lifting you up and supporting you in your hardest times,not judging you and berating you. We should be celebrating with you on your journey and know that many of us are. Keep up the great work and relish in the fact that you and your family are amazing. You are teaching them the MOST important lesson...LOVE...and in such an awesome way... by example. THAT is cause for celebration in itself!
ReplyDeleteAs a mama of 3 (our eldest just so happens to have Down Syndrome also;), I find so much inspiration in your posts!! Real moments shared by a real mama who is loving on her kids in all the right ways. Keep doing what you are doing, because you and your beautiful family rock!!! xo
ReplyDeleteHugs to you momma! Recently, a local new story about my daughter who has down syndrome went viral and I was shocked how people felt they have a voice our life and chose to judge things that weren't even the point of the story. No one is perfect even if they think they are. We are all just doing our best figuring things out. Sometimes we do better than other times but that's on us and no one has a right to judge us. Part of this life is to make our own mistakes. Don't judge me because I mess up differently than you do.
ReplyDeleteI parent very similarly to you, it seems...and I'm recently gluten free medically and equally loathe cooking....and judgey moms. Ching, ching to us! (3 kids...13, 11, 5) :)
ReplyDeleteAmen Sister!!! Keep on loving those kids well...you teach us all about loving... Thank you
ReplyDelete"All 3 of my kid's faces light up when they see me." <-- A perfect case of "knowing your audience"! You are a great role-model for all of us mothers!
ReplyDeleteI happened to scroll on instagram and found your page. I am delighted and just wanted to say you are amazing. I am a new mom of 3 and feel it's a roller coaster right now. You completely rock and your baby girl is so lucky to have you. As an ESE teacher it is so hard for parents to except the challenges they are given but you dear are doing an amazing job! Your babies are lucky. Keep up the great work. God bless you always!
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