It's simple really... 

1- When you audition, make sure you're running late, go to the absolute wrong building a few blocks away, wear heels for the first time in months and as an added bonus in the snow, then trot-run-sweat-under-a-winter-coat to introduce yourself to a panel all while slicking your now damp hair back, screw up your power point presentation & make sure the bright red lipstick on your two front teeth mesmerizes the crowd. Feel obviously like you nailed it.

2- Flip out when chosen to actually give a Ted Talk, cry, shout, announce it to the world and then panic because Holy-Sweet-Jesus you have to give a TED TALK.

3- Get pregnant & have to write and remember your Ted Talk. Because if it's not challenging enough to sum up your thoughts and brilliant ideas in 18 minutes, having pregnancy brain {THIS IS A REAL THING} will truly help. 

4- Practice saying your Ted Talk preferably and only in front of a 2 and 3 yr old. The feedback they give is amazing. Practice so much, that your son actually starts to say to your husband, "There goes momma, talking to herself again."

5- During dress rehearsals make sure you feel completely overwhelmed and intimidated by the other speakers. Truly try hard to digest and understand what their Ted Talks are about, even though they lost you 4 and a half words in.

6- Have a couple pregnancy pukes in between dress rehearsal and the actual moment you go on stage. I mean nothing shakes off the nerves more than barely keeping yourself together. 

7- Make sure to get chosen to give your Ted Talk near the end. That way you nervously have the pleasure of sitting though all the other Speakers and hearing them get introduced with their big titles, theories and "Degrees-in-this-and-Masters-In-that". 

8- After hearing a few Ted Talks that are completely over your head, look at your husband with deer-in-the-headlight-eyes, explain you don't understand what the bloody hell these people are talking about & feel uber deflated that your talk doesn't have big, intellectual words or hard to understand concepts. Try to think on the spot of a Gandhi quote to add to your talk, and push away all the Dr. Seuss and Winnie the Pooh ones that keep coming to mine instead. 

9- When nothing comes to you and there is no way to "spruce up" your talk, decide to rock it, exactly how you thought it. For extra confidence and sass, lean into your husband and say, "It doesn't matter, I'm gonna knock your bloody socks off and take these people to church".

10- Use that new-found confidence, put on that Madonna microphone, try to remember how to use the slide clicker and get on out there.

11- Lose that same confidence completely, when you hear your introduction, "Who likes roller coasters, a proper cup of tea, a good cuddle and bacon dip." 

12- Focus on not tripping, not craving bacon dip and just getting through the next 18 minutes of this bucket-list-moment of your life.

13- This is it. This is your chance. Pour it out, be honest, be real, just be you. And try to talk with your hands as much as you possibly can, preferably every-single-freaking-word. 

14- Try not to cry. Deep breaths, focus, you gotta get through this. And shoot you probably didn't wear waterproof mascara & if you cry, you'll be a hot mess in no time.

15- To really stop from crying think of something random to add in. Like why not announce to the world you're pregnant and then picture the shocked look on your husband's face. Instant cry reversal right there. 

16- Say your last words, breath a huge sign of relief and BOLT, I mean Usain-Like-Bolt off that stage and collapse in tears because you literally left your heart out on that stage. 

17- Realize everyone behind the scenes is bawling, clapping frantically and their holding the doors open to show you that every single person in the auditorium is up on their feet giving a standing ovation.

18- Now really lose it...Like ugly cry kind.

19- Find your husband in the back halls like a scene outta a romantic movie, run into his arms crying as he holds you and tells you he's never been more proud.

20- Take off those 1-size-too-small-heels-you-purposely-bought-so-that-they-wouldn't-fall-off when you walked on stage and feel like you've actually helped change the world a wee bit.