Weird what finally hits you...

In a few hours I will be completely trusting Fate, God & doctors hands...It hit me hard for some reason when I was rocking Noal before putting him to sleep...I absolutely love putting my little mouse to bed- He seems like such a baby when I’m rocking & singing softly to him...Tonight, I held him really tight & an extra long time & I thought back to that first night Reid was born...They had to move us to the Pediatric floor at the hospital because the OB floor was full- I remember hearing a little boy crying for his mum sounding just like Noal...He just kept calling out, over & over for his mummy...I was shattered for both the mum having to hear her little guy in such pain & for him having to face whatever was making him scared or hurt at such a young age...As I held Noal & thought back to that night, I realized that now a month later I am in that mum’s shoes...Scared, helpless, wishing I could take the pain of it all away- I am grateful Reid can’t call out for me or really understand what is happening at this point & that she is so young that the recovery & treatment after the surgery will just become a part of her life & routine.

It’s funny, today Noal was at daycare so I literally held Reid all day- Looking at her, trying to burn her beautiful eyes in my memory before they change, & feeling oh so worried...

But it wasn’t until I was holding Noal & remembering that other little boy’s cries that I had to cry myself...Weird what hits you...Not sure how much I will sleep tonight, will probably spend the night staring at Reid...

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  1. Erica Takeshima.24.1.13

    your so very strong!!! I am sure that little miss is just as strong as her mama.. praying for you and sending out positive thoughts to you... remember God has the whole world in his hands and is holding Reid and you extra tight... tears are healing and healthy so let them flow!! may God give you calm tmw. thinking of you and love you!!! :)

  2. Gloria Trothen25.1.13

    Heard about the surgery going well, but also that Reid is having breathing difficulties. I'm not going to pretend like I know exactly what to say to you at this moment. All I know is that I'm looking forward to the day when you'll be able to tell Reid how strong she was through all of this. I realize that the thought doesn't make what you're going through any easier. Please just know that we're all standing with you, believing that she will make a full recovery.