How to Give a Ted Talk...


It's simple really... 

1- When you audition, make sure you're running late, go to the absolute wrong building a few blocks away, wear heels for the first time in months and as an added bonus in the snow, then trot-run-sweat-under-a-winter-coat to introduce yourself to a panel all while slicking your now damp hair back, screw up your power point presentation & make sure the bright red lipstick on your two front teeth mesmerizes the crowd. Feel obviously like you nailed it.


2- Flip out when chosen to actually give a Ted Talk, cry, shout, announce it to the world and then panic because Holy-Sweet-Jesus you have to give a TED TALK.


3- Get pregnant & have to write and remember your Ted Talk. Because if it's not challenging enough to sum up your thoughts and brilliant ideas in 18 minutes, having pregnancy brain {THIS IS A REAL THING} will truly help. 


4- Practice saying your Ted Talk preferably and only in front of a 2 and 3 yr old. The feedback they give is amazing. Practice so much, that your son actually starts to say to your husband, "There goes momma, talking to herself again."


5- During dress rehearsals make sure you feel completely overwhelmed and intimidated by the other speakers. Truly try hard to digest and understand what their Ted Talks are about, even though they lost you 4 and a half words in.


6- Have a couple pregnancy pukes in between dress rehearsal and the actual moment you go on stage. I mean nothing shakes off the nerves more than barely keeping yourself together. 


7- Make sure to get chosen to give your Ted Talk near the end. That way you nervously have the pleasure of sitting though all the other Speakers and hearing them get introduced with their big titles, theories and "Degrees-in-this-and-Masters-In-that". 


8- After hearing a few Ted Talks that are completely over your head, look at your husband with deer-in-the-headlight-eyes, explain you don't understand what the bloody hell these people are talking about & feel uber deflated that your talk doesn't have big, intellectual words or hard to understand concepts. Try to think on the spot of a Gandhi quote to add to your talk, and push away all the Dr. Seuss and Winnie the Pooh ones that keep coming to mine instead. 


9- When nothing comes to you and there is no way to "spruce up" your talk, decide to rock it, exactly how you thought it. For extra confidence and sass, lean into your husband and say, "It doesn't matter, I'm gonna knock your bloody socks off and take these people to church".


10- Use that new-found confidence, put on that Madonna microphone, try to remember how to use the slide clicker and get on out there.


11- Lose that same confidence completely, when you hear your introduction, "Who likes roller coasters, a proper cup of tea, a good cuddle and bacon dip." 


12- Focus on not tripping, not craving bacon dip and just getting through the next 18 minutes of this bucket-list-moment of your life.


13- This is it. This is your chance. Pour it out, be honest, be real, just be you. And try to talk with your hands as much as you possibly can, preferably every-single-freaking-word. 


14- Try not to cry. Deep breaths, focus, you gotta get through this. And shoot you probably didn't wear waterproof mascara & if you cry, you'll be a hot mess in no time.


15- To really stop from crying think of something random to add in. Like why not announce to the world you're pregnant and then picture the shocked look on your husband's face. Instant cry reversal right there. 


16- Say your last words, breath a huge sign of relief and BOLT, I mean Usain-Like-Bolt off that stage and collapse in tears because you literally left your heart out on that stage. 


17- Realize everyone behind the scenes is bawling, clapping frantically and their holding the doors open to show you that every single person in the auditorium is up on their feet giving a standing ovation.


18- Now really lose it...Like ugly cry kind.


19- Find your husband in the back halls like a scene outta a romantic movie, run into his arms crying as he holds you and tells you he's never been more proud.


20- Take off those 1-size-too-small-heels-you-purposely-bought-so-that-they-wouldn't-fall-off when you walked on stage and feel like you've actually helped change the world a wee bit. 


5 comments:

  1. Amazing! One of the best TED Talks I've ever listened too. You are so motivating. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh thank you so much- Means a lot!!!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous24.7.15

    Seriously!! Okay, so I remember the first time I messaged you on facebook to ask a million questions because my daughter Norah was also born with DS and we had no idea till she was born. I remember reading your first posts and bring like "did she just read my mind and actually put it in her blog" because everything you said was exactly how I felt and what I thought. I remember receiving my amazing Awesome Eh gift after telling you my daughter had been in the hospital for almost 2 months after having her heart surgery at 4 months. You have no idea how much a needed that gift!! We all still wear the shirts proudly!! I think Norah and I match every time I go to CHEO for our DS Clinic. Okay after all of that I just want to say WOW to your Ted Talk!! My husband and I sat down together to listen to your talk after the kids went to bed. I of course cried the ugly cry while my husband silently listened beside me. When your Ted talk was done my husband and I both looked at each other and said that we had all the exact same feelings and it felt like you were talking about our life. So thank you for making this amazing speech and showing the world what Pip can do and how amazing she is!! I still can't believe your expect a 3rd and I'm so happy that you are!! I think Pip is going to be an awesome big sister and we already know Noal rocks at being a big brother!! Congrats to you and your family!!

    Courtney

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh this made my heart so happy - You and sweet Norah have such a sweet spot in my heart....

      Delete
  3. Meg M.25.7.15

    I love every inch of this post and I am going to watch your Ted talk while I enjoy a cup of coffee in a little bit. I want to tell you that you make my heart happy and I only wish I could fill my world with people like you and your family and everyone who is behind you. You make the world a better place and you often say what I am thinking. I am grateful for you and so grateful that TED talks saw the value in you and your message. XOXOX Meg

    ReplyDelete