Bittersweet Birthday....


Dear Noal,

Today is a weird one as far as birthdays are concerned. It's kinda bittersweet & hard to explain why I've been loving on you so hard the past few days...


You see, 4 years ago on July 27th you were born and changed my world completely. But on July 27th, another little boy was born who was also very special to me. My best friend, your Auntie Laurs had a little boy Maiysn, who you shared your first 3 birthdays with. But today for the first time he is up in the heavens, hopefully making them put on one-hell-of-a-bash...


Today when I'm blowing up your favourite colour {green} balloons and sticking them in your doorway to surprise you when you wake up - Another momma is picking out red balloons to release in her son's memory. While I'm getting pizza, wrapping prezzies and making your dad bake a chocolate cake, she's trying to get through the day with her family & learn to celebrate her son in a different way. 


Today while I'm celebrating you with everything I got, my heart is breaking for my friend who would give anything to be doing the same thing. 


Today as I hold you in my arms and try to get as many cuddles & kisses as I can, I know that's all she wants desperately to do, even if just one more time with her little boy.


So, forgive me 4-going-on-14 year old for all the extra love, snugs and tears you are getting today...

I'm just so thankful you are here and you are mine. 

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