You helped carry me through this miracle...

A few days ago I had never before felt so choked by fear...I could barely breath...And as my hubs explained in his one & only post, we are very different when it comes to how we handled Reid's heart surgery...While he internalizes everything & walks, actually nervously paces is more how I’d describe it, I sit in one spot, but my mind "walks" just as many miles as his feet...I also really open up in some ways & want to share what I'm going through...The blog, through friends, even talking with strangers who walked this path before me with their little ones...It's funny though, when it actually comes to making phone calls to tell people in our lives important things, {like Reid having Down syndrome, or the outcome after the surgery}, Craig is the one who has to do that for us...I don't have the words to vocalize exactly what I'm thinking in situations like that...So, instead when I'm ready after my little mind "walked" where it had to, I then find the words to share in my writing...


To me in a weird way, getting it out there, sharing it, means I don't have to keep or carry the weight of it all by myself...Knowing a friend in Ireland was praying for Pip, a stranger in Brazil who had a Down syndrome baby with the same heart issue was hoping for the same outcome, or those that love us, were non-stop sharing her story & constantly sending their love helped me deal with getting through some of these very dark days...Knowing people, friends, strangers everywhere around the world were thinking of my Pip, in a way made me feel so much stronger...In a really twisted kind of way, I felt like it was my offering to Fate, God, Sweet Jesus, Whomever to prove not only that I was begging with all of my life, to spare hers, but if I got others to think of her too, it might sway Whomever to save her.

 

My husband tells me I shouldn’t be shocked by the amount of people thinking of our daughter, because I demand it...I knew people were thinking of her from the messages & such that I could see on my phone...But a few days after her surgery, when I actually realized just how many people were thinking of Reid {thousands upon thousands from all over the world}I was beyond touched...The blog one day alone got 6000 views...That blows me away...The amount of shares her story got- The number of people/friends asking all that they know to think of Reid or hearing stories of Reid being prayed for in churches that don’t even know me or her...All of it blows me away...

 

So, make fun of me all ya want Craig- I may “demand” it from others & those out there may or may not believe it does anything, but I believe it helped heal my baby girl...So, I’m sorry but this will always be the case when it comes to my Pip...If, Sweet Jesus, I hope not, but if we are ever in this type of situation again- I will demand just as many thoughts for my sweet girl...

 

I honestly, truly believe all that love from all over helped play it’s part in this miracle...Seeing the whirlwind of hope created by everyone thinking, praying or sending Pip a positive thought helped bring her home one day after heart surgery...Just utterly amazing...The docs had told us to be prepared to spend up to 10 days in the hospital, so to be told the next day that Reid could go home was truly shocking...Amazing but shocking...I wish our first little miracle wasn't snatched away & that Reid didn't have to go through any of this...But, Sweet Jesus, this little bonus miracle was pretty damn great!


So, truly from all that is within me...THANK YOU...Thank you for playing your part in carrying me through this...


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