How goes the Mummy~Hood battle you ask?

Warning: This is such a “Mummy~Hood”post:
Since so many of you have asked how things are going with Noal, I decided to explain in more detail what I started to in Pin Ten about our issues...Again, this is probably a really boring post & I apologize in advance...But to those that asked or shared your stories- here is mine...

I really feel like this was truly my first week of insanity with having a baby...Since becoming a mum, i’ve never had a week yet where I truly felt overwhelmed and oh so frustrated...Here’s a quick recap of my scenario...Noal is exactly today 9 months old...Sweet Jesus, where have those months gone...fastest of my life...No lie...It’s weird- cause you do the same thing most days- at the beginning I even felt like it was groundhog day in a sense...you literally, feed, burp, sleep, cuddle & change a bum non-stop for the first little bit...I think my good pal Melisa Mulcaster, So-to-be Fines, described it to me like that- and it makes so much sense...Her & I got a pretty special friendship...You’ll get to meet her soon Guest Blogging...

Anyways, Noal & I right from the get go seemed really in sync- He is a happy, out-spoken, but chilled & sweet as anything little bum...Sure he’s had his days, in the beginning we even called him Noalene sang to the tune of Joalene when he was a crabby mouse...But for the most part he’s a happy little soul...The thing is we’ve never really been on a schedule...sure he naps twice a day, eats all this meals, etc...but we’ve never gone to a time, we’ve gone more to how we felt...We sleep in most days till 9:30ish,  we run errands, take a  walk or hang out with friends most afternoons...Noal plays well independently and loves to jump more than any baby I’ve ever seen...
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But this past week trying to fit to a certain criteria and schedule has been absolutely miserable for us both....Now, I believe Karma really is gonna get ya...I was a loud, happy, never wanting to sleep & miss out on the action type of baby...Noal is as well...on top of that he has a stubborn streak bore from Craig & I that is a match for any ox...

Day One: I tried one of the cry it out methods and it was beyond horrific...He cried for 2 hours...I kept going in every 5, 10, 15...I tried this for 2 naps- and just couldn’t do it...He had a full out tanti & this method work as it may for some babes & mums doesn’t fit for me...So I reached out & emailed and talked to as many mums as I could to get their thoughts...Brilliant advice & support out there...woman are awesome eh?
Day Two: I tried the Baby Whisperer method, that a lot of mumma’s suggested...I read the entire book & went with the Pick Up/Put Down method & I’m just not sure the author had a 30 pounder in mind when she thought it through...This method I found confusing for both of us & I found it didn’t work at all for my situation...Some girlfriends swear by this method though & I could see if you used her suggestions from the get go- things being a smooth ride...But my Noal was having done of it...he cried as soon as I went to place him in crib and would stop immediately if I picked him up-the up & down just confused him, well us really & the effort it took to pick him up was more exercise than I’ve done since he was born...the book says you might have to do it 100 times..bloody hell...Not for me...The other thing I found amusing that the author suggest is if you have a baby that co-slept you may have to get in the crib to build trust...So, in I go...But you can only do that so long- I have short little pony legs & was okay in there for upwards of an hour- but to sleep overnight like the book suggested...not happening...

Day Three: So by now, I’m really tired & really frustrated & losing hope...Poor Noal has cried more in the last 2 days than he has the last 6 months...So again, thanks to all the folks out there- cause I had a few dads suggest things too, sharing their stories...I found them so helpful....So on Day 3 I tried a softer approach...all these other methods- sit on a chair, sing, rub his chest, move away, stay beside him and so on...At this point I’m doing all these things {oh & to boot I’m sick- ear & throat infection which makes the humming & singing just lovely} and Noal is still in his crib but having done of it...I was frustrated beyond belief and when the hubs came home for lunch I asked him to take over for 5 minutes...I needed to cool it...To those mumma’s who have had colicky babies- Sweet Jesus, the patience it must have given ya...I’m going nutso with all the crying- hats off to you’s who have to deal with a poor mouse who isn’t happy...I’ve also become so emotional, over the top, at times crazy...Anyways, Craig said something to me that stuck...I told him he was doing it the wrong way {like there’s a wrong way} and he said to me, “t, why don’t you just do what you feel instead of what you read, hear or see”...So at the time, low on sleep, high on emotion I Beyonced {SideNote: When I’m drunk, emotional, angry or pissed I get all Beyonce & in the hubs grill...I snap like I’m from Detroit {being from Windsor I believe allows me to have the attitude of Detroit sometimes} & have what some would call “sass”} yelled, “You want me to do what I feel, well this is what I feel” & I walk past him snapping & crawl in the crib...insane I know...I feel almost like the insanity I felt when I was prego {note, I promise I am not prego}...After he left, I cried, called my mummy hotline & then really thought about what would work for Noal & I...So, a few things I noted:
  • He’s getting another tooth-so miserable to boot – plus I’m sick so not a great week to start...
  • He’s never slept away from me before except when he would fall asleep in the stroller, car seat, or such for naps- But at night and for the most part his naps he has fallen asleep right in the nook of me...he cuddles in- he “talks” for a bit each time unless he’s really tired...Lately cause he’s rolling over & sitting up- He does a little roll & a mini baby push up & looks at me so proud...then he’ll roll back & tuck right in to me...Most times he nings {what Jenn got me calling breastfeeding}...I say it like people should absolutely know what I’m talking about...Anyways, for me to expect him to go cold turkey from that to a crib, alone and just learn to know how to sleep was mental of me...Maybe other babies, but my little tempered, stubborn, funny monkey no way!!!

Day 4:  So, if the Baby Whisperer suggests it I’m gonna give it a good go...I get him to fall asleep with me in the crib with absolutely no crying...but, just when I think he’s sleeping & I can try and manouver my way out of the crib he would snuggle me in- grab my shirt so I couldn’t leave and make sure his nose was on mine...Funny little mouse- He knows what he’s doing and then it hit me, lying there with a pins and needle leg cramp so bad I wondered if I'd be able to stand on my legs when I finally got out of the crib...Noal doesn’t care where we sleep {which is true- he’ll fall asleep in our bed, friends bed when were out, the couch, etc...He’s freaking out because I’m not right there with him...So, baby steps it will be...

Day 5: Finally success or at least a little bit...So after deciding to take my time & do baby steps with the Bubs...I decided that instead of plopping him right in the crib, maybe sleeping near it & learning how to sleep on his own might be more helpful...So, I put couch cushions beside the crib & set it up with his blankets and such...Noal won’t take a pacifier or a bottle- but has become a champ at the sippy cup, which I offer during this process...We also picked this mouse/rat? that he seems to love...
Before each nap we rocked in his chair for a wee bit with a book- He’s too distracted at this age to do anything but cuddle & try to pull at the blinds close by...I give him a quick snug, turn on his white noise machine & lay him down on the couch cushions and I stayed about an arms length away from him with my hand on his chest...He wanted none of this and tried to push my hand off and roll towards me...kept saying, “mummma” and reaching out his arms to me....Ahh killed me...He has a loud cry with no tears and a real cry...when tears are there I know it’s more than his stubborn loud trying to get what he wants cry....So, this went on with me laying him back down, telling him night night and I love him and putting my hand on his chest-and he wasn’t too happy but after maybe 45 minutes he went to sleep- I stayed right beside him...Had a book & my phone...was texting up a storm- My Focks {Nicole Walters} was a rockstar and had a baby girl today- Brilliant day....Wish I was home to meet her & give Focks a huggin...

SideNote: I find who you text a lot to be some of your closest people in life...at least for me, it is that way...who I text or message a lot, are people who know me close...Thank God for friends/texting- when I’m ninging that’s what I do- I don’t know what others gals do but I text, Facebook & play card games on my phone- I’m stellar at Rummy, Euker, Crib & learning Poker- I did it so much ninging with Noal to get him to sleep, it’s  almost a crutch now to help me fall asleep- I play a few hands every night before bed..weird I know- guess that’s another Quarks & Quirks...

So back to Day 5...I stayed with him- kept busy and when he opened his eyes I let him find me & he smiled and rolled over & got right in my lap & put his head in my neck nook...He’s such a cuddle monster- like his dad!!! Love that about him...

Then we had an active lunch & afternoon before the second nap of the day...I did same routine, book, kisses, same mouse/rat and lay down with hand on his chest...He didn’t cry at all...He talked & made his little grunts before he falls asleep that he does when he lays with me....Then within 5 minutes or so he was sleeping with NO crying...I stayed again so he saw me when he woke up and both him & I seem so much happier-back to normal...

So, tomorrow the plan is to not stay with him- allow him to fall asleep & then leave...Then, depending, slowing do same routine but with no hand on chest, just sitting beside him...and finally putting him in crib & doing all this until he gets it & is comfortable with it...
I understand it’s a softie’s plan and I understand why some mums, especially older mums who maybe haven’t done co-sleeping themselves balk at my resignation to certain methods & if it were them they would just get on with it...I truly, don’t know why this is so hard for me but this is what feels right for us...So, maybe it’s a slower plan than most would hope & it may drive me crazy but, God knows, I need to work on my patience- It’s a bad fault of mine - has been my whole life...
I’m going to miss my little mouse nuzzled in every night...I wouldn’t do things differently, the last 9 mths have been truly worth it and these are really the moments that will be with me always...
I know this has been a really “Mummy~Hood” post...but I’d thought I’d share where we are at since so many of you shared thoughts with me...Thanks again friends...
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4 comments:

  1. Jessy Genier28.4.12

    Tara I love reading everything thus far and expecting myself..I find this is very enjoyable to read and it makes me feel better as to not always feel like resorting to a book or what works for others is the answer...especially since its twins..

    Jessy Genier

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  2. This is such a great read...so well written. xo Gus Gus

    ReplyDelete
  3. JennQ28.4.12

    GREAT post bud!!! You're doing a great job. I think your final strategy was brilliant and seems to be working for little Noal. He's so cute! Can't wait to give him a little love tonight! Looking forward to laying these eyes on you two.

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