I had to lug Noal to some of Pip's appointments, usually I try to book them for when he is in daycare but some days that just doesn't happen...But I was prepared; a bag of snacks, my phone fully charged for a YouTube video if needed, toys and my patience fully charged and ready to go.
Two hours in, a few major toddler tantis, making a "fishing pole" out of a measuring tape and latex glove, snacks and 3 granola bars demolished and my patience now patiently waiting for a gin & tonic.
But it was during Pip's second appointment where I had to hold her down while two nurses poked both of her arms in search of her little veins, without any luck that I just about lost it...She was desperately struggling to be free, crying harder than I've ever heard her, saying "mum mum mum" over and over and her one little arm was already starting to bruise, when Noal turned his "fishing pole" into a sword and said, "That's enough, you ladies leave my sista alone".
When they wouldn't stop because they finally found a vein, Noal looked at me and said, "Momma tell them to beat it"...
In that moment when I was so close to tears myself, so jealous of others whose day revolved around which park to go to and not which arm to let a nurse poke, when I was so frustrated about how our day was unfolding, my little man showed his sweet, protective heart and made me realize it's all okay.
This is all part of our story...The endless appointments...The dreaded blood work...The heart defects, vision problems, Hypotonia and now the news that Pip has Hypothyroidism - Resulting in medication and continual blood work.
But it's still all okay.
Sometimes it all just feels a bit much, and that she was the unfortunate one who got all the other health complications associated with Down syndrome and just can't catch a break. Her vision problems are consuming in itself, her heart surgery just about did me in and now while this is definitely treatable it's still a serious thing.
At times, like Noal I wish I could just take her away, tell all the nurses and doctors and test to "beat it"....
But it's all still okay - She's here, glasses, patches, scars & pills and really that's all that matters...