Embracing the softness....

Picture this friends...It's a beautiful day....Parks are bustling...Paths are filled with joggers, strollers, kiddos & pups...And then off the beaten path in the distance you see a site you really wish you hadn't or at least wish you had your phone to video this hot mess in action...


A full grown woman out of nowhere, comes busting out with a cartwheel, running full sprint into a round off & looking to end it with a yikes-no-she-shouldn't splits...You can tell she's trying to impress her toddler whose more interested in a ball & what looks like her laughing hysterically husband...He seems to be partly urging her on & partly embarrassed to be seen with her...


You see her determined face scrunched up, really try to play the part of the gymnast she once thought she was...Her 10, 15 okay bloody hell 20 pounds overweight, stumpy little body try & get the air in once did back in the day...And you can almost feel the ground shake with the heavy fall as she lands with her hands in the air expecting someone, anyone to hold up a card with a "10"...


You feel awkward watching, but can't look away & almost want to clap for her effort...You can tell the woman was really expecting her not-interested or impressed toddler to cheer after giving it her all with such umph...You then see through the woman's smile, a grimaced look darting across her face & a realization that her little body hasn't flipped over itself in ages, maybe a decade & it probably wasn't prepared for such an intense burst of energy like that...You choke back your own laughter as you see the woman limping over to her husband asking what could have possibly gone wrong & pointing to the back of her leg in disbelief...


That poor, delusional, spontaneous woman is me & now has a pulled hamstring...



Damn it...



Now I wouldn't consider myself healthy, fit, in-shape or any of those things...I am absolutely the worst...When I see other people posting the "beans & green smoothies" they had for dinner or that they just ran for 8 miles or such nonesense, I don't think "good for them", I honestly think these folks are crazy...


I know I have the warped thinking here & a part of me really would love to be healthy, lose this baby weight, have more energy, lada lada la...But Sweet Jesus, I love food- bad cheesy, fried, creamy, chocolatey food..


I haven't properly worked out since 2009 for my wedding & that actually might be the only time I gave it my all to fit into my wedding dress...Even then I was a hot-swearing-mess- Not one part of me enjoyed working out...



Before or since then, I've more or less just embraced the softness...Especially since having Pip, that baby weight & my insane hungry all the time has just kept those extra pounds around...


But after seeing numerous photos of me from vacation, always being utterly exhausted & wanting to set a good eating/habit for my kiddos, I've decided to really try & lose these 10, 15 okay if I"m lucky 20 pounds...


Got myself a gym membership {problem here is I can only go once kiddos are in bed & at that point all I want to do is curl up on the couch with a bowl of icecream & new Fall show lineup}, plan to ease back my chocolate consumption & maybe just maybe I'll be able to get a 10 outta 10 on my next cartwheel-round-off-split masterpiece...


4 comments:

  1. I would give you a 10 for effort, can't remember the last time I attempted a round off cart wheel and if I did I'd probably break my legs or something

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    1. Haaa thanks Leyla- there's the 10 I was looking for...

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  2. Anonymous21.8.13

    I really do enjoy reading your blog posts!Your honesty makes me feel normal!!!Don't put too much pressure on yourself because you look great and I'm not just saying this! You and your body have been through a lot in the last 2 years, so do be kind to yourself! Coming from someone who spent years being obsessed with weight and numbers, consider my advice and go on how you feel not what the scale says. I haven't weighted myself in about 4-5 years, instead I ask myself how I feel in my clothes... and in general! Numbers are deceiving, especially on shorties, which from high school memory, I think you fall in that category! I know you are not fishing for compliments, but remember you are one hot mumma!!

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    1. Haaaaa...this made me laugh- The memory of remembering I'm a shortie!!! I wish I knew who you were Anonymous- Thanks for the advice...I'm not really a scale-kinda-gal-either...

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