Exactly a month ago today we were shockingly bringing Pip home from having surgery...The day before that I did the hardest thing I have every done in my life & gave my baby girl to surgeons to try & fix her little heart...The night before that {3 days if I'm being honest} I didn't sleep, I just held her & begged Fate/God to keep her with us...
Feels like yesterday but yet feels like a lifetime ago...I wonder if that is how I will always feel about it...
A month ago I was in such a terrifying place....Being so utterly scared that everything we did could possibly be her "last"... I remember doing all the "last things"....A few nights before her heart surgery, her "last" time seeing her brother, her "last" bath, her "last" snug with us as a family of four...Breastfeeding her for the last time very early the morning of her surgery was probably one of the most emotional times I will ever have in my life...Connecting like that & holding her so very close crying, thinking, this could be the "last" time..
But, thank Sweet Jesus, here we are today - Pip's recovered better than anyone could have hoped for...No feeding tube, no complications, just a whole hell of a lot more sass...
A month ago you couldn't wake her up for a night feed if you tried- now she's up like a bloody newborn every 3 hours wanting to eat & has the energy, much to my dismay, to stay up from 3 am to 5am most mornings...
She also seems so much stronger, has better colour & has lungs I didn't know existed until just this month...
My friend, whose little boy had heart surgery, said it best when she was trying to prepare me for it all..."She just will seem so much more ALIVE"....That she does & I am ever so grateful, sass, early morning wakeups & all...
13 Comments
Love!!!!!! So Amazing what a little fighter she is xoxo. Love you Reid,
ReplyDeleteLove, Auntie Laurs <3
I remember when my daughter had her heart surgery at 6 months old 3 years ago. That was exactly what u said. It isto like getting a newborn all over again. :)
ReplyDeleteFor sure it is...It's been over a month and she still seems like that...
DeleteI have read this with tears in my eyes as felt the same when my beautiful daughter Eva had cardiac surgery. But she too blossomed afterwards and it was an awakening and discovery of the world around her :) so glad your daughter is doing so well :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Laura...Glad to hears yours is as well...
DeleteBeautiful...Im glad she is doing so well, and she does look like she has much more energy..xoxo
ReplyDeleteWe love your story, we have 2 boys in our care with downs, the youngest boy sounds like your daughter,he had cardiac surgery last May and is going great,love your photos.
ReplyDeleteregards
Neil & Sue
Hunter Valley
Aussie
Glad to hear he is doing great...thanks for following Happy Soul Project & all the best...
DeleteMy girl had a full AV Canal repair at 4.5 months - it was the scariest time of my life, I could feel the fear return just reading your words. It was the same with us, I didn't know exactly how sick my baby was until I saw how much she changed within days of the surgery. We are now 7 years post surgery and she is the most amazing child I've ever known. I know in my heart how blessed we are to live in this time because not too long ago that surgery wouldn't have had such amazing success rate and the doctors probably wouldn't have even thought it was worth doing on a "disabled" child. I am thankful for the strength my girl has to be a swimmer, a cheerlearder and just a kid going down a slide wearing a princess dress.
ReplyDeleteSo scary eh? And I never really thought of it like that but yes we are so blessed to live in this time than...Thanks for sharing....
DeleteYes. You will feel like it was yesterday and a lifetime ago, both, for always.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're enjoying your newfound lack of sleep :)
Thanks Mardra....
DeleteMy first child went into his own cot bed when he was 3 weeks old as we couldn't stand anymore of his warthog snoring. He was also in a baby sleeping bag.Vaikiški vežimeliai
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