Exactly a month ago today we were shockingly bringing Pip home from having surgery...The day before that I did the hardest thing I have every done in my life & gave my baby girl to surgeons to try & fix her little heart...The night before that {3 days if I'm being honest} I didn't sleep, I just held her & begged Fate/God to keep her with us...




Feels like yesterday but yet feels like a lifetime ago...I wonder if that is how I will always feel about it...


A month ago I was in such a terrifying place....Being so utterly scared that everything we did could possibly be her "last"... I remember doing all the "last things"....A few nights before her heart surgery, her "last" time seeing her brother, her "last" bath,  her "last" snug with us as a family of four...Breastfeeding her for the last time very early the morning of her surgery was probably one of the most emotional times I will ever have in my life...Connecting like that & holding her so very close crying, thinking, this could be the "last" time..


But, thank Sweet Jesus, here we are today - Pip's recovered better than anyone could have hoped for...No feeding tube, no complications, just a whole hell of a lot more sass...



A month ago you couldn't wake her up for a night feed if you tried- now she's up like a bloody newborn every 3 hours wanting to eat & has the energy, much to my dismay, to stay up from 3 am to 5am most mornings... 




She also seems so much stronger, has better colour & has lungs I didn't know existed until just this month...



My friend, whose little boy had heart surgery, said it best when she was trying to prepare me for it all..."She just will seem so much more ALIVE"....That she does & I am ever so grateful, sass, early morning wakeups & all...